Star Wars: The Stuff George Never Told Us
by Kiila Domina
Summary: Mary-Sue, avoid if you don't like those. Give it a chance, please? I've got everything up now, so have fun... R&R please.
1. Default Chapter

Author's Notes: Ok, I wrote this with the help of my one friend, Julie, a couple years ago. This is a Star Wars fanfic, and all characters that are mentioned that you have seen in a Star Wars movie, are of course, property of the Almighty George Lucas. Not ours. There are also some drinks in the story that are most likely not ours, I think they're various Fruitopia and Snapple drinks. We didn't come up with them. We may have made up a couple names, but the characters of Julie and Kiila are ours (if you get really picky, us), and Mark, Steve, Gretchen, Duane, and any mention of Fred the Wonder Dog, well, they're ours, cause they're all people we know/knew. Oh, and just so you all know, if there's mention of someone named Bobby Fisher around, he's actually Lucky Bob from Histeria. Not ours, again. On with the insanity!  
  
  
  
Darth Maul's new neighbors! AKA: Too much sugar man!  
  
By Julie and Kiila the Spellsinger  
  
  
  
One day in Tingly-wingly-pixily-wixily land…  
  
§ Ow! Cut it out Sal! §  
  
"OOOOoooooo, you're just so coot, soooo adowable, and so vewy, vewy pwecious, wes' oo are!" Obi Wan cooed to Fluffi Wan, cuddling the hamster until it turned colors from him squeezing to hard.  
  
Darth Maul wondered why his neighbor had to be so loud when he did that. It was sickening. Plus, he had a terrible headache that day.  
  
Then a scream and a racket started up on the other side of his apartment, and My Apprentice cocked her head to listen. Maul stood up, walked to the door, stuck his head out and was about to yell to his other neighbor when Obi Wan popped up behind him.  
  
"Hi, neighbor! You don't look so good today. Have you taken anything yet? Try this."  
  
Darth Maul popped the tablets in his mouth without wondering what they could be.  
  
"I guess you heard your new neighbors over there, and wanted to know what was going on, right?"  
  
New neighbors? This was not going to be a good day, Maul could see it already.  
  
"Let's go meet them." Obi Wan dragged a slightly snarling Maul over to the next apartment and poked the doorbell.  
  
  
  
"Looks like we've finished cleaning up, eh, Julie?" Kiila looked at their handiwork with much approval.  
  
"You still have to fix the porch and garden." Julie smirked, wiping her hands clean on a towel before tossing it into the kitchen.  
  
"I'll do that tomorrow. Today, I have an audition," Kiila went into the bathroom to cleanup for the try outs for the new Jedi/Sith TV show. She was hoping for the lead Sith female role, but Julie suspected she'd probably wind up being a Jedi character, though anything seemed possible with Kiila.  
  
The doorbell buzzed.  
  
"Who could that be?" Julie walked to the door and opened it to see a young man with a near crew-cut hair cut with a thin braid hanging down the side. Another man of indeterminable age and no hair, but several small horns and a black and red pattern covering his face and hands. It possibly covered more, but that was all she could see, because both of them were wearing heavy robes. She wondered if they were cold.  
  
The men at the door saw a young woman with chin-length red hair and pale skin. She had a shapely, well-taken care of body. Her murky blue eyes completed the charming picture.  
  
"Hi! My name is Obi Wan, and this is your neighbor, Darth Maul. I live on the other side of him." The young man seemed entirely too cheery, perhaps even a match for Kiila, when she was hyperactive.  
  
Darth Maul growled, until he received a sharp poke in the ribs from Obi Wan.  
  
Kiila began to sing.  
  
"This fate, to be so beautiful…."  
  
"SHUT UP! COMPANY!"  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Sorry about that, Obi Wan, Darth Maul. She's getting ready for an, audition. She's an, actress." She seemed to spit the words out, whether she was jealous, or sick of it, one couldn't tell.  
  
§ It was the latter, Y'know? §  
  
"Please come in and sit down."  
  
Kiila whisked out of the bathroom, as few people can, and went straight to the bedroom, to change her outfit. She had only been wearing a towel, and there was no way she was going in that, or the work clothes she'd dragged behind her.  
  
Maul and Obi had a brief glimpse of a tall, slender, well-developed and somewhat muscular woman with light brown hair with a red skunk stripe down to her waist, wearing only a towel. Obi nearly passed out, falling onto the couch instead of sitting, and Maul had strange ideas.  
  
"I'm really sorry about that, she didn't know you were here. Would any one like a drink?"  
  
Maul grinned, "I'll have a beer."  
  
"We don't have those. I could make you a strawberry margarita or a pina colada, though. She and I allow only those alcoholic drinks in the house, though I do sneak in some other stuff. But no beer."  
  
"I'll have a Pepsi™ then."  
  
"Me, too, please" Obi Wan had finally gained awareness of the surrounding world again.  
  
"Ok, we have those. Be back in a sec!" Julie ran into the kitchen.  
  
"Well, Julie, I'm, OH! Hello, who are you?" Kiila had come out the bedroom in a pair of brown leather pants, a bright green shirt on, and a few papers in her hands. Her shirt matched her intense green eyes, which seemed even a bit brighter with the wide smile on her face.  
  
Obi Wan looked over. "My name is Obi Wan Kenobi. This is Darth Maul, he lives on that side of you, and I live on the other side of him."  
  
Too perky, she decided. "Well, I have to go, so I guess I'll see you guys when I get back. Bye!" She went into the kitchen and hurried out again carrying a glass bottle marked Snapple™ Fire.  
  
Julie came out of the kitchen carrying three Pepsi™ cans. "How does she keep going like that all day? I think she actually does drink coffee, but I can't seem to find any traces of it anywhere, even in her bank accounts. Oops, I guess I shouldn't have said that."  
  
Kiila's head popped up from behind the sofa, with a purposely fake pouting look on her face. "You're so mean." She was holding an armadillo with a purple collar, and proceeded to cuddle it, but not for very long. "Hey, Havoc, I've got to go, but I'll be back soon, ok? Bye-bye." She set it down on the sofa, where it proceeded to crawl into Obi Wan's lap and fall asleep. Obi Wan began to absent-mindedly scratch it behind its ears. Kiila left.  
  
Maul felt something pulling at his leg. It was another armadillo. He picked it up, and noticed the red collar that said Harold. He sighed and put it in his lap, idly scratching it.  
  
Dead silence.  
  
More.  
  
Just a little more.  
  
Obi tried to start a conversation. "What is her audition for?"  
  
"Some new live action Jedi/Sith TV series. She's trying out for the lead female Sith role, but she really isn't worried, though she'll say she is," Julie sighed. "She lives such an interesting life, whereas I get to classify new life forms, when they show up. That's why I'm here most of the time. She may seem totally smart, and all knowing, but there's one thing she's not good at, that's shopping for clothes. If it wasn't for me, a paper bag might look better than some of her clothes."  
  
Maul imagined the picture, and smiled. He was promptly smacked with a rolled up newspaper.  
  
A faint yelling came from his apartment. "MAAAAUUUUULL! Where are you?"  
  
"Um, I'd better go see what my master wants. Bye." He left Obi Wan sitting there, trying to start a new conversation.  
  
He met Qui Gon in the hallway.  
  
"Have you seen Obi Wan anywhere?"  
  
"He's in there, grrrr," Maul replied, pointing to the door from whence he had come. He then noticed the armadillo hanging from his tunic. "Could you take this with you?" He asked, handing the armadillo to Qui Gon. Maul had a feeling he shouldn't make the girls angry.  
  
"Yes, I'll take him." Qui Gon walked through the door and was gone.  
  
Darth Maul entered his apartment, to wind up face to face with a very angry Sidious.  
  
"Where have you been? I've been here looking under all the piles of dirt for ten minutes!" Sidious had something bad planned for him.  
  
"I was at the new neighbor's apartment. Obi Wan dragged me there," Maul was desperately trying to think of something else to say, when he heard Obi Wan being dragged away by Qui Gon.  
  
"Why can't I stay and talk? I wanna stay and talk! Let me go!" Obi Wan wailed as he was dragged out of the other apartment back to his own.  
  
  
  
Julie watched as he was dragged away, and sighed. She'll just have to wait for Kiila, and they could go bother them together. She had a feeling this was going to be fun.  
  
Julie turned back into the apartment, and walked to the kitchen. She looked in the fridge for something to eat, but then decided to go food shopping. Kiila had only bought enough for tonight, saying they could go the next day for more stuff. She grabbed her purse, and made sure she had enough money (Kiila always lent her some, without worrying about payback) and left for the store.  
  
  
  
Kiila returned to the apartment, to find her friend loading a couple bags of groceries into the appropriate places.  
  
"Hey, I thought we were going shopping tomorrow," she called.  
  
"Yeah, but you didn't buy enough chocolate."  
  
"Sorry." She entered the bedroom, and pulled out a lavender kimono, and got out of her other clothes and put it on. She sighed. There were so many other good actresses there; she may only have a bit part. Oh well, it doesn't matter. She'd have to wait for something else to come around. Then she saw the letter on her dresser. She had been formally invited to try out for this show, and now she wondered why.  
  
"So how was the try-out, Kii?"  
  
"It was all right, I guess. There were a lot of people there." Letting herself fall gracefully into the couch, Kii closed her eyes to think for a minute.  
  
"Did anything go wrong?" Julie drifted out of the kitchen as she spoke, moving over to the couch across from where Kii sat.  
  
"You sound like you wanted it to! No, nothing went wrong. They paired me against this one actor. He was so young! I mean, he wasn't younger than I am, but, compared to most of the other people there, we were the youngest. I mean that honestly! I could tell which ones had makeup on, even the guys did, to look younger."  
  
"Tell me you weren't jealous."  
  
"No way!" She sighed again. Havoc started crawling up her leg. Kiila picked her up. "Hey Havoc. I'm back. By the nine hells of necromancy, I'm tired. I think I just went through the toughest audition of my life. They're mailing callbacks and actual notices tomorrow."  
  
"Well, we'll just have to wait and see, won't we? For now, have a piece of fudge."  
  
"What would I do without you, Julie?"  
  
"Dress in a paper bag and starve."  
  
This gained laughter from all four of the room's occupants, the humans and the armadillos.  
  
  
  
Darth Maul was rudely awakened by loud noises coming from his new neighbors' balcony. Slowly easing out of bed, he crawled his way over to his balcony. Propping himself up on the railing, he looked over, and was met with a very nice view of Kiila in very tight, short shorts. He started having strange ideas.  
  
"Hi Maul!" Obi Wan was on his balcony watching Kiila work.  
  
Kiila looked up, saw Maul, and waved, a cheerful look on her face and a tight tank top added to his fantasizing. She then resumed her work of repairing the balcony, which was already half done. Julie stepped out onto the balcony wearing a bathrobe with embroidered teacups on it.  
  
"How much longer do you think you'll be? And do you have a list of the plants you want?" She asked her roommate.  
  
"Maybe another fifteen minutes. The list's on the table, when are you going?"  
  
"When I get dressed. Probably soon, since you woke me up. C-you."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Julie departed the balcony, and Kiila resumed her work. True to her words, she was done in fifteen minutes. She then waved to Obi and Maul and went into the house to get what she needed to do the more leisurely task of painting the balcony. She came out of the house again with a brush and a can of green paint and started painting the railing. Obi went inside his apartment, and a few minutes later, Kiila heard the doorbell ring. She answered the door, and Obi stood there with a paintbrush in hand. They went out on the balcony: Obi painted the floor, and Kiila continued the railing. It was done in five minutes. They cleared up, and Obi went back to his apartment.  
  
Maul then remembered what his master had said about them. He was to protect Kiila from some stalker or other. Apparently, there was one after Julie too, but he figured Obi had to take care of her. So that meant he was headed to the garden store. He knew Obi knew the store, so it was okay. Besides, he could maybe get closer to Kiila and… He smiled. This would be fun.  
  
  
  
Kiila was relaxing on the couch, when she heard a scuffle out on the balcony. She looked out and saw someone on the balcony trying to get in.  
  
"YOU MESSED UP THE PAINT JOB!" She ran to the door, opened it, picked up the person, and threw him over the edge. He'd looked vaguely familiar; she wondered who he was. She touched up the scuffed paint, and closed the door again.  
  
Darth Maul watched the man on the ground get up and walk away. Boy is he tough, this is the forty-second floor. He decided he should go over to Kiila's apartment and make sure she was okay.  
  
The doorbell buzzed, and Kiila let him in.  
  
"Hi, Maul, what's up?"  
  
"Um, didn't you just throw that guy off the balcony?"  
  
"Yeah, why? He messed up my paintjob! He deserved it!"  
  
"Well, he got up and walked away."  
  
Kiila gave him a blank stare. "You're kidding, right?" She sat down hard on the sofa. Maul sat down next to her and tried his best to comfort her, which was a hard task for a Sith.  
  
"Don't worry, Master Sidious has assigned me to watch and make sure you're okay. This could get worse."  
  
"What about Julie?"  
  
"Obi is looking after her. Don't tell her though. She doesn't need to know yet."  
  
"Thanks. I need to be alone, okay? I'll call if I need anything."  
  
"All right, bye." Maul left and went back to his apartment, and changed out of his robes, into his Teletubbies boxers, and 'Sith Kicks Ass' T- shirt. He then set up Jedi Road-Kill and amused himself by watching My Apprentice play it.  
  
  
  
"Hi, Kiila, I'm back! Kiila, HEY KII! Wake up! I bought some purple petunias for you!" Julie paraded into the apartment, loaded down with trays of plants.  
  
"Sorry Julie, I'm just a little out of it." Blinking, the taller woman sat up from where she was laying on the couch to look at her friend.  
  
"By the way, I picked up the mail. There's a letter for you from the studio." Julie dropped the letter in Kiila's lap.  
  
Kiila opened it and read it. Then she read it again. Then she screamed.  
  
"I GOT THE PART! ISN'T IT GREAT?"  
  
"Wow, that's so cool! Guess they really know who's got talent!" Julie was putting as much effort into her enthusiasm as she could, but it was a little bit hard for her.  
  
Kiila was doing a little victory dance. "They want me to come down to the studio tomorrow to discuss the contract and give me my schedule."  
  
The doorbell buzzed. Julie answered. It was Obi and Maul.  
  
"What's going on?" Maul demanded.  
  
"I got the lead Sith part in the show, isn't that cool?" Kiila said, lightly stepping over to them and holding out the letter.  
  
"Wow, that's really great!" Obi Wan said, to no one in particular. Or maybe it was the door hinge.  
  
"I think we should have a big victory dinner. I'll cook," Darth Maul was about to brag about his cooking skills, when Obi interrupted.  
  
"Isn't your apartment still a mess?"  
  
Julie and Kiila looked at each other. "We'll take care of it," they said in unison.  
  
  
  
They looked at his apartment with despair. Then Kiila went back to their apartment and brought back rubber gloves and several different cleaning implements. Julie closed the door behind them. Darth Maul and Obi Wan watched the door as several loud noises were heard. At one point, the door opened and Julie handed My Apprentice to Maul, and went back inside. In a time span of less than five minutes, they had the place totally cleaned and Maul was on his way to a new culinary masterpiece. Julie swooned as she watched Maul cook in his "Kiss The Cook's Ass" apron. The human occupants of the room wanted to do this very badly.  
  
"GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!" Maul growled.  
  
Everyone left, even My Apprentice.  
  
  
  
Later that evening,  
  
@ OOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOO! @  
  
§ Be quiet, Sal. §  
  
Obi, Maul, Kiila, Julie, Harold, Havoc, My Apprentice, Cuddles, and Fluffi Wan were all gathered around the table in Maul's apartment.  
  
"Wow, you're such a good cook!" Julie was wolfing down her food, as Kiila watched her with much distaste at her manners. Maul was eating the same way. My Apprentice was smirking at Maul's manners.  
  
Obi was trying to eat and feed his hamsters at the same time. "Ow, you bit my finger, Cuddles."  
  
  
  
Julie was walking around her apartment the next day when she stepped on something fuzzy. She looked at it. It was a golden hamster. "Now which one are you?"  
  
It let out a whine.  
  
Obi bounded out of nowhere and cried, "FLUFFI WAN! NO!" He scooped the hamster up in his arms. Then he looked at Julie, and turned beet-red.  
  
Julie screamed and pulled her robe further closed.  
  
"Sorry!" he yelled as he ran out of the apartment.  
  
"PERVERT!"  
  
"Julie, what's wrong?" Kiila asked.  
  
"Obi Wan is such a pervert! He was in here this morning! I think he's stalking us!"  
  
Kiila had a strange expression on her face. "He probably went to the wrong apartment after last night."  
  
"Yeah, sure. I'll make breakfast."  
  
"Can we have crepes? With Nuttella™?"  
  
"Ok." Julie walked into the kitchen and started to throw together a meal.  
  
Kiila started flipping through the TV Guide as she heard a thump on the balcony. She turned around in time to see Maul flip onto their balcony and throw someone off. He gave her thumbs up and pointed to his apartment as if he wanted to talk. She okayed him, and turned to smile at Julie who walked out of the kitchen with crepes.  
  
"Here's breakfast, you miserable sod!"  
  
"Thanks!" Kii kept her smile on her face, trying to cover her earlier discomfort.  
  
They ate. Kiila went over to Maul's apartment. He was waiting for her.  
  
"That wasn't the same guy."  
  
"Did he get up and walk away, too?"  
  
"Yes, and he was much smaller. That must mean there's two of them, one to deal with each of you. Now that they know I'm here, they are going to be more cautious."  
  
"Yeah, well, I have to go to the studio this morning. Want to walk with me, or are you going to shadow me?"  
  
"I'll walk with you a while, but then it'll be like I have somewhere else I'm going, and then I'll shadow you."  
  
"Ok, I have to go now."  
  
They walked away together. Julie watched them leave from the window, and wondered if something was going on behind her back. She saw Obi on his balcony, and decided to put on some actual clothes.  
  
  
  
Kiila walked home for a while by herself. When she got to the place where she had parted from Maul, she wondered where he was. He said he'd join up with her again. She waited a couple minutes, and started walking again. Then, suddenly, two arms wrapped around her and she was lifted into the air, as blaster marks scorched the place where she had just stood. She threw her arms around Maul's neck when she saw it was him.  
  
"Thank the luck of necromancy! Is that why you didn't rejoin me? Because of that?"  
  
"Yeah, and we'd better go before they come here." He jumped down to the pavement and ran the whole way back to the apartment.  
  
Unfortunately, Julie saw this and met them at the door to demand to know what was going on. Obi Wan put his head out in the hall and Maul signaled him to come over.  
  
They explained what was going on.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" Julie was furious.  
  
"Calm down. Can't you just understand? You can get so paranoid sometimes." Kiila was trying to calm her friend. It wasn't working.  
  
"PARANOID?!? I do not get paranoid!" She said, trying to cover her attempt to look at the balcony.  
  
"See? You are paranoid! If there were a way I could make you forget this, I would use it! You are so stubborn!" Kiila was yelling at her friend. Then she forced herself to calm down. "I didn't worry when Maul told me. These two are here to take care of us. Accept it. Don't try to change it. It will turn out okay. You'll see. Okay, maybe I was nearly killed this morning, but Maul saved me. It doesn't matter what could have happened, but what did happen."  
  
"Do you really mean that, or are you acting? I should be able to tell but I can't."  
  
"I really mean it. When I need to, I can be serious. You should know that by now."  
  
"What would I do without you?"  
  
"Go nuts!" Kii smirked a bit of a playful smirk, as Julie sighed, her head going down to look at the floor for a moment.  
  
Maul shuddered at the friendship between the two. Obi Wan became sentimental, and came over to hug the girls. Julie punched him lightly in the solar plexus. Obi sat again.  
  
"That doesn't excuse you for being in the apartment this morning."  
  
Maul stared at Obi in disbelief. His mouth dropped in surprise. He grabbed the magazine that had hit him before, rolled it up, and smacked Obi with it.  
  
"You're so mean, Maul!" Obi started crying.  
  
"Awwwww!" The two girls got up, but Julie clicked back and sat down again.  
  
"Did the mean man hurt you, you poor thing?" Kiila was promptly hit with the magazine. "Ow, thanks Maul."  
  
Maul hit Obi again, and he stopped crying. Mainly cause he'd been knocked unconscious.  
  
  
  
Maul relaxed on his now clean couch, and sighed. The last few days, since the attempt to kill Kiila had been boring. My Apprentice was racking up a new high score on Pong. That's how boring the last few days were. He rolled over and munched on a slice of day old pizza. He knew he should keep it clean, but that would make Sidious too happy.  
  
Then someone screamed!  
  
Maul jumped up and opened the door into the rushing Obi's face. Now that Obi was unconscious, Maul knew it was up to him to save whichever girl was in trouble. He busted in the door to the apartment. Julie was staring at a letter she'd just opened.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"MY MOTHER IS COMING!"  
  
Maul banged his head on the wall. He'd knocked Obi out for this.  
  
"By the way, Maul, shouldn't you be looking after Kii? She just went to the garden store."  
  
Maul panicked and left.  
  
Julie looked out the door and saw Obi. She dragged him into her apartment to revive him.  
  
  
  
Maul raced to the garden store, and Yoda met him at the entrance.  
  
"Why in rush are you?"  
  
"I'm looking for a girl with brown hair with a red skunk stripe."  
  
"Aisle 5 she is in."  
  
"Thanks." He ran to aisle 5 and saw someone about to shoot her from the other end of the aisle. He ran and pushed her down just as the shot fired. The person left in a hurry. Maul looked down at Kiila, who was on the floor.  
  
"Horny you are." Yoda stood at the entrance of the aisle  
  
"It's not like that!" Maul screamed. Kiila turned red.  
  
"Get off me!" She yelled at him. They stood up and she smacked him. She whispered to him, "Have to make this look good." Louder, "You ^ BEEP ^ pervert! Leave me alone!"  
  
Maul tried his best to look sheepish, and it didn't look good. "Sorry."  
  
She stormed off, and he went the other direction. They met up outside the store.  
  
"That was interesting." She giggled.  
  
Maul blushed as best he could, considering no normal skin showed.  
  
  
  
They returned home and heard sobbing coming from Obi's apartment. Julie met them at the door.  
  
"Fluffi Wan sacrificed his life for me. Obi's crying over his dead body." Julie looked morose.  
  
Kiila walked in to see Obi carefully lifting the body up into a box. She walked forward to comfort him, but he shrugged her off.  
  
"Someone tried to kill her, too." Maul was talking to Julie.  
  
"Wow, they must really be desperate. To try when you're there is extreme."  
  
"I only barely got there in time."  
  
"And…"  
  
"Um, nothing."  
  
"I'll tell you later, Julie." Kiila walked back over.  
  
Obi Wan was carving a small tombstone for Fluffi Wan. They left him alone.  
  
  
  
Maul was hoping Kiila wouldn't tell Julie too much, like what Yoda said.  
  
  
  
"Yoda said what? Wow! Was that how he landed on you? Ooooo…"  
  
"Stop it! We had to make a big scene about it, too!" Kiila looked at her feet.  
  
"There's something you're not telling me."  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Oh, nothing." Julie smirked to herself. I can see where this is going.  
  
Kiila was afraid. She knew that look. What was Julie up to now?  
  
  
  
They all watched as Obi burned the box in which he had placed Fluffi Wan's body. The bundle in Kiila's hands twitched. The bowed their heads as Obi Wan looked to the sky and screamed,  
  
"FLUFFY WAN! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOOO!"  
  
Kiila walked up to him and held out the cloth bundle.  
  
Obi took it, unwrapped the cloth and his face brightened. "Ooooo, a new hamster! I'll name it Fluffi Wan Jr."  
  
Julie looked stricken and Maul wanted to throw something at him, but there wasn't anything to throw. Kiila tried not to laugh. They all went back to their apartments. Obi went with Maul, to talk to him.  
  
"Julie told me what happened in the store."  
  
Maul panicked. "It wasn't like that. It was a total accident that I pushed her down. I did manage to save her life though."  
  
"Sure. Bye Maul."  
  
Maul was glad Obi left. He wondered how long it would take Sidious to find out.  
  
The doorbell buzzed. Maul winced and answered.  
  
"So, you have saved her life, but you pushed her down how?"  
  
It would be a long day.  
  
  
  
One day Obi walked out of his apartment wearing his 'Like a Rock' boxers. Darth Maul had also stepped out in his 'I Love my Lightsaber" boxers.  
  
Kiila and Julie stepped out, too. Julie was wearing Angel PJ's, and Kiila wore a polar bear sleeveless top and penguin boxers.  
  
It was an awkward moment. An auk flew down the hall.  
  
"Um, hi guys?" Kiila managed a little smile and wave.  
  
Maul stared at the girls, and Obi passed out.  
  
"I bet that boy's never seen a pair of hooters." Julie looked at the ceiling in pain. "I get that pansy for a bodyguard."  
  
Kiila laughed.  
  
"He does have a nice ass, though." Julie walked over to Obi.  
  
"Gee, Maul, I didn't know the tattoo went that far." Kiila walked over to him.  
  
"It goes farther."  
  
"Really?"  
  
He nodded, and gulped. He didn't know what she meant by that.  
  
"Well, I have a rehearsal today, so I'll see you when I'm ready to go, okay?"  
  
He nodded again.  
  
"Okay, bye."  
  
She went back in the room. Julie, who had dragged Obi back into his apartment and left him there, followed her.  
  
Maul, still stunned, stood there for another 30 seconds, and walked back into his apartment when My Apprentice rubbed his leg. He poured her some milk, and got some cereal for himself. It might be a good day, finally.  
  
  
  
The telephone rang. Julie answered.  
  
"Hello. Oh, a new species! Do you have a specimen? Good, I'll be there as soon as I can. Bye."  
  
She quickly pulled on some more respectable clothing, and went to Obi's apartment.  
  
"I have to go to the labs. Are you coming?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
  
  
Obi watched as Julie worked out what kind of creature it was, only picking up a word or two of the scientific talk. Julie deigned to call it a Gigtaamuln, meaning gods only know what.  
  
As they walked back, Obi felt something was wrong, and decided they should head down a side street.  
  
"Why are we going this way?" She asked.  
  
"I sense a disturbance in the Force. Someone might be following us."  
  
Just then, a small, black cloaked figure dropped in front of them. It pulled out a purple lightsaber and challenged Obi.  
  
"Fool, avenge your Fluffi Wan."  
  
"MARK! What are you doing?" Julie stuck her hands on her hips, looking at him almost a bit admonishingly.  
  
"Trying to kill you." Mark said with a quiet, slightly indignant cough.  
  
"Well, who's after Kiila?"  
  
"Duane."  
  
"Figures. Anyway, why?"  
  
"The Cheese has ordered it."  
  
"Huh?" Obi looked at Julie.  
  
"Later." Julie sighed.  
  
"Fight me, weakling." Mark brought his lightsaber up, running at Obi Wan with a yell.  
  
Fight ensues.  
  
@ You really suck at this don't you? @  
  
§ Shut up! §  
  
Obi Wan won, however, he had a slash across his shoulder. Mark was badly wounded and carted off to the hospital.  
  
Julie and he walked back to his apartment. Obi got some bandages out of his medicine cabinet, and Julie helped him remove his shirt so she could bandage his wound.  
  
Oh, my. He is so sexy; too bad he's so gay. I'd like to see what's under his boxers. Julie sighed. "Do you need any help?'  
  
"No, but could you just stay and talk a while?"  
  
"Yeah." She sat down next to him.  
  
  
  
"Julie, I'm back, no one tried to kill me today!" Kiila looked around. "Julie?"  
  
Maul looked around. "She hasn't been here for a while. If I'm right, she's at Obi's."  
  
They went over and rang the doorbell. Julie answered.  
  
"Hi, Obi got hurt today. Mark and Duane are our stalkers. And something about a cheese." She babbled on slightly, a bit nervously.  
  
Kiila rolled her eyes. "You don't remember Steve?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Steve. Gretchen's stalker Steve, we were always cruel to him. Remember?"  
  
"Oh no! I thought we lost him at Alpha Centauri!"  
  
Obi and Maul blinked.  
  
"Don't ask!" Kiila and Julie said in unison.  
  
  
  
"Stop that! Get off, Havoc!"  
  
"Harold, that tickles!"  
  
Giggling was becoming constant.  
  
Maul and Obi were becoming worried. They were hanging out on the girls' balcony, when the giggling started. Maul tried the door. It was open. They crept into the room, and stood outside the door to the bedroom. They burst in the door, only to find the girls in their PJ's playing with the armadillos. Obi turned a shade of red, and Maul's red reddened.  
  
"Um, guys…" Kiila started.  
  
"Obi, we need to talk." Julie walked to him and dragged him out of the room.  
  
"I pity him."  
  
Yelling started in the other room.  
  
Maul winced and looked for somewhere to sit. Kiila motioned that it was okay for him to sit on her bed. He did.  
  
"You're not mad at me?" He asked.  
  
"No, not really. If I was mad, you'd be in pain." She started massaging his shoulders to get him to relax. "Do I seem like I'm mad?"  
  
"No, but then again, you're an actress."  
  
She laughed. "I've learned how to control my feelings and absorb them so I can use them in acting. That's why I think I do so well. I don't base it on luck, or my appearance, but on the skill with which I act. I've seen some very famous people in public, thinking they're being totally natural, but they were actually acting with out realizing it. Those people in my opinion, are very poor actors. They can't be honest with their lives, so they suffer for it."  
  
"Wow, deep." Maul grunted, a bit impressed.  
  
"What, don't you think I can be real? Want to see how real I can be?" She curled up really close to his back and turned his head…  
  
Julie stormed back into the room, grabbed him by the ear, dragged him out into the hallway, and shut the door behind him and Obi.  
  
"Damn! Just when I almost…" Maul looked over at Obi who looked at him with intense interest, and then suddenly turned his head to study the ceiling.  
  
  
  
"You almost what? Why would you…" Julie was freaking out when she realized what she'd interrupted and Kiila had told her.  
  
Kiila rolled her eyes. Julie was not going to let her hear the end of this. "Hey, what about you? First you call Obi a pansy, and then you say he has a hot ass. Then you wind up spending the day with him after he's hurt. What on earth are you?"  
  
Julie growled. She realized Kiila was right. "Well at least he doesn't have tattoos covering his body."  
  
"It gives Maul an amount of individuality."  
  
"Yeah, and… ack! Why do you do these things to my head?"  
  
"Because I'm you're friend. It's what I do." Kiila laughed, picked up Harold, and heaved him at Julie.  
  
"Yeah, well knowing you, you've probably made him horny." Julie caught the flying armadillo, patting it gently on the head.  
  
"Hey! How would I do that?" Kii struck an innocent pose, batting her eye lashes with one hand over her heart, as if saying 'Perish the thought!' in a hand motion.  
  
"I don't know, I'm guessing."  
  
"You're mean."  
  
Julie put Harold down on her bed, picked up Havoc, and tossed her onto Kiila's bed. Kiila picked up Havoc and cuddled her. Havoc and Harold both looked rather dazed.  
  
Kiila then looked at the clock, and realized that she might be late. She put Havoc down, and the armadillo curled into a warm spot on the bed, and rushed to the closet to get dressed for the rehearsal. Julie sighed, tossed on her robe, and went to pour her friend a bowl of cereal.  
  
The doorbell buzzed and Julie opened the door and got a white flag in her face.  
  
"I surrender. I'm sorry. Can I come in and wait for Kiila?"  
  
"I guess." She let Maul in and got into the kitchen with barely enough time to pour the cereal into the bowl before Kiila whooshed in and took it from her to the table. There was a bottle of Fruitopia™ waiting for her on the table.  
  
Julie and Maul watched as Kiila for once scarfed her food down as fast as possible. She also chugged the Fruitopia™ in less than 30 seconds. She whipped into the kitchen again, emerged with a bottle of Snapple™ Rain (with Agave Cactus), and picked up a pile of papers to take with her.  
  
"Ok, I'm ready, are you?"  
  
  
  
Julie went over Obi's apartment to check on how he was that day. She found him trying to open a jar of pickles.  
  
"Here, let me." She opened it with one twist. "I guess you can't grip it right with your shoulder."  
  
"I guess." He sounded sad.  
  
"Is this about earlier?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"I'm sorry. The armadillos like to wake us up in the morning. Though, how did you get in?"  
  
"The door to the balcony was unlocked. Maul opened it, and after we went in, he locked it."  
  
"Ok." Julie hadn't thought she'd locked it last night, so when she saw it locked she'd been confused. "I guess I should be glad it was you guys that came in, and not, someone else."  
  
Obi nodded, seeing how she didn't want to talk about the 'someone else' it might have been. "How did you know Mark?"  
  
"He was a friend of ours at school. I called him my son, but I didn't do that to his face. It was a joke between me and Kii." Julie looked to the floor, before Obi put a his good hand on her back, reassuringly.  
  
  
  
Kiila got home from the rehearsal. She couldn't believe they'd been taping it for spoofs when they messed up! She'd never had that done before! Maul went straight to his apartment after telling her Julie was at Obi Wan's place again. She probably felt grateful for him saving her life. Kii went to her bedroom, opened the closet, pulled out a teal kimono, changed into it, and went over to see Maul.  
  
"Hey, Kii, what's up now?" He looked confused at her coming over.  
  
"I just didn't feel like hanging around there without Julie to bug me." Kiila was confused that Maul kept trying to block her view of his apartment. My Apprentice leapt into her arms.  
  
"Then why don't I come over to your place?"  
  
"Why, what's wrong with…MAUL, you are such a slob!" Kiila glared at him when she finally got a glimpse of his apartment. "I am going to give you a lesson in cleaning up so you can do it yourself!"  
  
"Well, I'm sure you don't want to get your kimono dirty."  
  
"That's right, I don't. Which is why you'll be doing the cleaning." She smirked a mischievous smirk, unlike his usually nasty looking ones.  
  
Darth Maul sighed. It would be a long lesson.  
  
  
  
Julie walked back to her apartment. On the door was a note that said:  
  
Hey, Julie!  
  
I've gone to Maul's place to teach him to clean his own apartment.  
  
Be back soon!  
  
Kiila  
  
Julie sighed as Kiila popped put of Maul's apartment saying, "And keep it clean!"  
  
"Have a good day?"  
  
"Kind of, not really, no. They taped the rehearsal so they'd have a tape of mess-ups the could use for a special."  
  
They went into the apartment and Kiila flopped onto the couch, or, as good a flop as she could manage wearing a kimono. Julie quickly made her a bowl of air-pop popcorn, without being asked, since she knew it would cheer Kii up.  
  
"Thanks, you're wonderful." Kiila sighed and stared at the ceiling and ate her popcorn half-heartedly.  
  
It must be very bad if she's like this. Julie sighed. "Were you attacked today?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then you're bored, right? You only really get like this when you're bored."  
  
"I'm bored. I'm bored cause no one attacked. It's been like this since you were attacked. I think its cause Mark was hurt. Steve wants them both in shape so he'll have one to protect him in case we come after him. Why'd it have to be Mark and Duane? They were our friends. Why couldn't it have been Fred the Wonder Dog and someone else we didn't get like? Why them?"  
  
"Why not? Why use people we don't like when he can turn our friends against us?"  
  
"Why does real life have to resemble TV and movies so much?"  
  
"Why'd I just fall out of my chair when you said that?"  
  
  
  
Maul sighed as My Apprentice played Jedi-Redneck Rampage.  
  
The doorbell rang. Maul used the Force to open the door.  
  
"I am amazed. Your apartment is clean." Sidious ambled in with his usual dignified air.  
  
"Kiila makes me keep it clean. Otherwise she'll beat me up."  
  
"So what evil deed have you done since I last visited you?"  
  
"I drop-kicked My Apprentice yesterday when she wouldn't leave me alone."  
  
My Apprentice looked at him with distaste, and missed being attacked by a Redneck Jedi.  
  
"Mrrrooww! Meow! Hiss!"  
  
"My Apprentice! You have learned such foul language from Maul!" Sidious looked at her in shock.  
  
"That's my good little Apprentice." Maul smirked at his pet, a cat that had now killed five more Redneck Jedi and was working on the sixth, which looked like Qui Gon.  
  
My Apprentice smirked.  
  
Sidious rolled his eyes and sat down in the chair to watch. "So how are you and Kiila getting along?"  
  
Maul grinned. "Just great. Today's her day off, and later we're going to the store to get some plants for my apartment. She's insisting. I can't resist when she pouts. She's almost as bad as Obi Wan."  
  
"By the way, I heard Obi Wan was hurt. Is that true?" Sidious folded his hands together, leaning forward to the game to urge My Apprentice along a bit.  
  
"Yeah, he got in a fight with the one stalker. There are two of them, and he put one in the hospital. I guess he's better with a lightsaber than I thought. Although I didn't tell anyone, last night I had a fight with the other one. He was good, and it sounds like the other one was better." Maul grunted, watching the score on the video game. My Apprentice held 5 of the top ten spots already, and it looked like she was going for another one.  
  
"Guess you and he had better start working out more when he gets better. You and he may have to go at the organization soon. You may never know."  
  
As Sidious left, Maul had a feeling that he would face them soon, though when he couldn't tell. Sometimes for him, soon was five minutes, sometimes a month. He could never tell.  
  
  
  
Obi's shoulder had healed, and Maul had insisted on them practicing their skills outside in the lot around the apartment complex. Kiila and Julie sat and watched them practice. Julie was playing an electronic fishing game, and My Apprentice sat next to her, mind-whammying the game to let her catch bigger fish. Kiila was playing with the armadillos and the hamsters.  
  
Obi and Maul were using wooden replicas of lightsabers instead of real ones. That way, they wouldn't hurt each other. Maul was trying to improve on Obi's skills, so he would be more effective, considering he was using pansy Jedi techniques. Obi was trying to avoid getting more bruises.  
  
Maul wondered if this was a bad idea. Who knows, he may have to face Obi someday and kill him.  
  
Obi was tiring, so Maul let him have a break. They had been practicing for over two hours with no break. Kiila tossed him a bottle of water. He plopped down on the ground and drained it in 10 seconds. Julie tossed a bottle to Obi, who sat down and drained it more slowly.  
  
"How much longer do we have to practice?" Obi was panting as he drank his water.  
  
Maul motioned for another bottle, and replied, "I think we're good for today. We'll do more tomorrow."  
  
They went back into their apartments, and all decided to get a good night's sleep.  
  
  
  
Dark.  
  
Flash of light. Brown and red hair flashed in the darkness.  
  
More dark.  
  
Someone grabbed her shirt and tore at it. She screamed.  
  
  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! STOP! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Kiila was lying on her bed, thrashing and screaming.  
  
Julie leapt off her bed and shook her friend violently until she woke up. Kiila was in a cold sweat. She ran to the bathroom. Julie heard her throwing up. She sighed.  
  
The doorbell was buzzing and she could hear Maul and Obi yelling to be let in. She opened the door and they burst in.  
  
"Julie, what's wrong?" Obi was shaking her.  
  
"Where's Kiila?" Maul was looking for her.  
  
"Kiila's in the bathroom. She'll probably be in there a while, in the shower. There's something I should tell you guys…"  
  
  
  
Kiila let the cold water run down her as she huddled in the tub. Why did that nightmare have to come now? She started scrubbing where sweat had built up.  
  
  
  
Maul, Obi, and Julie waited for Kiila to come out. Julie had explained to them what had happened to Kii four years ago. They all sat there looking very remorse. Kiila stumbled out of the bathroom, and leaned on the doorframe when she saw Maul and Obi. Maul got up and half-carried her over to the couch. He sat down next to her.  
  
"Julie told us. Don't worry about it." Obi was sitting next to Julie, who was staring at the floor.  
  
"I'm sorry, Kii. I didn't want to have to make up something and lie to them. I know you didn't want me to tell anyone, but…"  
  
"Its okay, Jul. Don't worry." Kiila looked like she was going to collapse in on herself.  
  
Maul sensed something wrong, and it wasn't Kiila's nightmare. Obi sensed it a moment later. Julie looked up at the balcony. She looked down very quickly, as if she hadn't seen anything. What she had seen was Mark, so she knew she should act as if she hadn't seen him. Maul nodded to Obi, and flipped over the couch, drawing his lightsaber to get ready to battle with the short one. Obi drew his to protect the two girls. Mark broke in through the window and leapt at Darth Maul. Kiila and Julie got behind Obi, when Kiila noticed something out of the corner of her eye. Obi turned to face Duane. Kiila turned and screamed as she saw Maul and Mark go over the balcony.  
  
  
  
Maul lowered himself to the ground using the Force. Mark hit the ground at full speed, and got right back up to face Maul. They fought, and then Maul was sure he heard the fire alarm go off.  
  
  
  
Kiila and Julie ran out in the hall to the staircase. When they opened the door, Julie screamed as Steve came at them with his cheddar- colored lightsaber drawn. Obi Wan forced Duane out in the hall, so he could fight both of them at once. This is probably the only time I'll wish I had a double lightsaber, he thought, trying to keep both of them in his line of vision.  
  
Kiila had to find some kind of distraction to Steve and Duane. She ran her hand along the wall, and grinned when her hand met something she could use. Good thing Obi was trained in how to shut out a sense when it became overloaded. She pulled the fire alarm.  
  
Steve and Duane howled in pain, while Obi shut out reception of his hearing. He continued to fight as Kiila dragged Julie down the stairwell. Halfway down the first flight, she signaled Julie to go on. She grabbed the fire hose out of its case and winced as the glass cut her wrist. She ran back up.  
  
Obi was holding them off, but he looked tired, since he had been woken up in the middle of the night. Kiila used the fire hose to lasso Steve's legs together. He grabbed her, made his way as quickly down the hall as he could, and cut a hole in the wall. Obi had beaten Duane and used the rest of the hose to tie him up and was coming after Steve, when Kiila was thrown out of the hole, who was calling down to her "I NEVER LIKED YOU ANYWAY!"  
  
"KIILA!" He cried, and quickly sliced Steve in half in the middle of his gloating.  
  
  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kiila screamed as she fell from the hole. She hit some trees, which rendered her unconscious.  
  
Maul, who had thrashed Mark and was wondering why all the tenants had run out of the building, heard her scream. He looked over just in time to see her hit the trees. He ran over to where she now lay. She didn't move. "Kiila? KIILA!" One of the ambulances that had come hurried a stretcher over to where she lay, some joints bent at wrong angles. Maul insisted that he would go along and after he mind-whammied a few people, he was permitted to ride in the back with her.  
  
  
  
Qui Gon, Obi Wan, Julie, and Sidious came to the hospital afterwards. Julie had been in shock, and Obi had to answer for Steve's death. Qui Gon and Sidious cleared that up with a few mind-whammies. Maul was waiting rather impatiently outside of the ER. The doctor came out and handed him a clipboard.  
  
"Nothing permanent. Broken ankle and wrist. A few cracked ribs and a whole bunch of infected cuts. One big slash down her left leg, but other than that, its all bad bruises. We're gonna keep her here for two weeks or so. Don't worry, she won't die." The doctor was trying to be reassuring. "You can come back and see her tomorrow morning. Go get some sleep. You look like you all need it."  
  
  
  
Kiila smiled weakly at her friends as they walked through the door. She didn't try to talk, she knew it hurt.  
  
Julie sat down on one of the chairs, Obi next to her and Maul in the closest chair to Kiila's head.  
  
"Do you like that they gave you your own room?"  
  
A smile was all they got.  
  
"Do you miss us?"  
  
A weak nod was the answer  
  
"Would you like us to come and visit when we can?"  
  
A wide smile, as wide a one she could manage without too much pain.  
  
"Then we will. We've taken care of the studio, so don't worry about that. They're even paying the bills."  
  
Kiila managed an even bigger smile, before she winced in pain.  
  
A nurse walked in. "Kiila needs her rest. I have to ask you to leave."  
  
Maul was about to protest, but a look at Kiila told him the nurse was right.  
  
"We'll be back tomorrow. Bye,"  
  
Kiila managed a small wave with the hand that wasn't in a cast.  
  
The End (For Now) 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimers: Umm, Darth Maul, Obi, and other actual Star Wars characters belong to the Almighty George Lucas. Only things that belong to us are Kiila, Julie, the armadillos, and any further mention of the bad guys from last chapter, and a few other people. Any thing else belongs to whoever else came up with them, scary as it may be, we didn't think of it. 

Fun, fun, silly, willy, AKA: Kiila's gone! Kiila's gone! Though only for a while.   
By Julie and Kiila the Spellsinger 

* * *

"NO! I don't want to go to Kashyyyk!" Kiila was reading the notice from the studio with much dismay. She'd been back from the hospital for three weeks now, and didn't really want to go anywhere. 

"Calm down! It's not so bad. It only for a couple weeks." Julie watched as her friend stormed around the room furiously. Kiila stopped when she pulled a muscle that was still somewhat sore. 

The doorbell rang. Julie answered. Kiila fumed. Obi walked in. 

"Hi, what's all the screaming about?" Obi looked at Kiila staring at her notice, trying to put holes in it. 

"Kiila doesn't want to go where the company wants her to. They want to send her to Kashyyyk next week, but she won't go." 

"Oh, ok, I'll tell Maul later. He's not coming over because his master yelled at him for not being Sith-like, so he's sleeping in until noon." Obi cautiously edged his way around Kiila to sit down on the other couch. Kiila looked like she would jump on the next person who said anything to her. 

Kiila suddenly calmed down, at least on the outside. "I'm gonna go chop up the stuff for tonight. Since we're having stir-fry, I can relieve tension on the chicken." She went into the kitchen. 

Obi and Julie could hear her being very violent towards the chicken. Julie sighed. 

Obi looked at his feet. "I guess I'll leave you to calm her down." 

"Chicken." 

Obi grinned and left. 

* * *

Maul grimaced as the doorbell rang. He opened it with the Force, since he was trying to be more Sith-like and lazy. Obi poked his head through the crack. Maul was tempted to close it on his head. 

"Hi neighbor! Did you know Kiila's leaving next week?" 

Maul rolled off the couch. "She is? Why, and where? Wait, I shouldn't care." He banged his head on the table as he stood to get up. My Apprentice screeched as he put more weight on her, as she had been lying on his stomach. 

"I know you aren't supposed to care, but she has to go to Kashyyyk tape an episode of the show she's in." 

Maul's eyes darted to the cupboard where he'd hidden the tapes of her show. "Oh, well. Guess we have to put up with just Julie for, how long?" He was trying to sound as if he didn't care. 

"Gee, you can act like you do care around me, I won't tell anyone. She'll be gone for a three and a half weeks, subject to change." Obi left Maul to ponder this. 

"Um, oh well," Maul glanced around. He looked around, and picked up My Apprentice. "Are you going to be mad about her leaving?" 

"Meow? Mew." 

"Yeah, I thought so. Don't tell Master Sidious, but me too. Okay, so she doesn't give me tidbits of fish, but she's just different." 

* * *

"Julie! Help! I can't get my suitcase closed!" Kiila was bouncing up and down on her second suitcase, trying to get it closed. Well, it was closed, but she couldn't get to the latches to lock them. 

"Coming!" Julie walked in and flicked the latches closed. Kiila got off the suitcase. 

"I can't believe the week went that fast." 

"I think its cause we were shopping all week. Come on, dinner's ready." 

"What is it?" 

"Chicken Marsala." 

"Oh, wow. You're such a good cook." 

* * *

The next day, they all went to the spaceport to see her off. Kiila even managed to get Maul to come along. 

Word had gotten out about the trip, and there was a huge crowd waiting for the actors and actresses in the show. 

Kiila sighed when she saw the crowd. Fortunately, there was a walkway separated for them that was wide enough the crowd wouldn't be able to bother them. 

However, the guards were insisting that her friends wouldn't be able to go with her to the port. The four said goodbye, and a two guards carried her baggage for her, as she walked down the aisle, waving to the people, just for show. 

Julie, Maul, and Obi went back to their apartments, and took a day to recuperate from the shock of so many people gathered in one place for one show. 

* * *

Maul was watching bad movies on the TV. Okay, maybe it was his 50th viewing of Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion. That was all there was these days. Besides, he had a feeling that his master would show up soon, so he didn't want to watch one of his movies. 

"MAUL!" 

Maul opened the door for his master using the Force. 

"Your apartment is getting filthy." 

"Kiila isn't here to make me clean it up. Not that I care." 

"I will make you clean it up later. First, I have something for you to do." Sidious had an evil glare on his face. "You will be taking swing dancing lessons. You will need a partner. A female partner." 

Maul thought hard. "I guess it'll have to be Julie, I don't know of any other females on this planet that can put up with me." 

Sidious raised his eyebrow at that comment. "You start tomorrow." 

"Wait, don't I have to ask her first?" 

"You are a Sith. Mind-whammy her, if she refuses." 

Maul was about to protest, but thought better of it. Sidious left. Maul decided he would go tell Julie now, when she was hopefully not in a mood to kill something. 

He rang the doorbell. Julie answered (surprisingly). 

"Hi what do you want?" 

"My master told me that I would be taking swing dancing lessons, starting tomorrow, and I need a partner…" 

"Oh, can I come? I love swing dancing! Wait, swing dancing with you…" 

"You will take swing dancing lessons with me!" Maul did a very powerful mind-whammy. Julie couldn't help but agree. 

* * *

The next day, Maul found out with horror that the instructors were Obi Wan and Qui Gon. To his further horror, Julie waved to Obi. 

"Hi, neighbors! I didn't know you guys were taking swing dancing lessons." 

"It was his master's idea." 

"That figures." Obi shrugged and went back to the front of the classroom. 

Maul looked at the other students. They were all Padawans and their Masters, or old people. He screamed internally. Julie looked at him strange. He dropped to the floor in pain. Julie picked him up. The lesson started. 

Two hours of swing dancing. Julie barely managed to keep Maul from killing everyone. 

* * *

Kiila liked doing her own stunts. She performed a back flip off one tree branch and landed on the other, and continued with the mock fight she was doing. Another 'Jedi' came up behind her and caught her arms. 

"You won't get away with this, you do know that!" She screamed at the 'Jedi' holding her. 

"Yeah sure." He did a 'punch' and 'knocked' her out. Kiila made her body go limp. 

"CUT! Kiila, you need to get more vicious. Stop smiling. Smirk, Kiila, smirk." 

* * *

Julie was watching Maul play Jedi Road Kill to relieve his tension. 

"Do you love me?" She decided she would pester him. 

"No, go away." He was being very violent toward the game controller, so she decided she go bother Obi instead. 

* * *

Obi answered the door, and wondered why Julie had come to visit. 

"Hi, what's up, Julie?" He asked, sounding puzzled. 

"Oh, nothing. Maul's in a bad mood." 

"I'm not surprised." 

Julie decided to start her new technique of annoyance. "Do you love me?" She half curled against him. 

"Um, uh, gee, um." He was very flustered, and was turning very pink. 

Cuddles looked very unhappy. 

"Um, yeah, I think, yeah!" He finally got an answer out. 

Julie stuttered. "Aw, you're such a sweetie. I love you too." She cuddled up against him. 

* * *

Julie was very surprised at the day's events. As she was trying to sleep, she wondered if Kiila was having as much fun as she was. 

* * *

Kiila was having a great time. She was sightseeing on Kashyyyk, and she was going around with some of her friends from the show. She sighed and wondered what Julie, Maul, and Obi were doing. She regretted that thought a second later when a bad picture popped into her head. 

She went back to her hotel room, washed up, and went to bed. 

* * *

Julie awoke to a noise she hadn't heard this early in the morning. It was the doorbell. She tried desperately to drown out the sound with a pillow tight over her head, but their persistence finally caused her to get up and answer the door. She pulled her robe on tightly over her PJ's, as she answered it to see Obi Wan in his infamous boxers. 

"Hi, I-" Obi was interrupted 

"PUT SOME PANTS ON!" 

Obi ran back to his room. By this time, Maul who had stuck his head of his door, to see what Julie was screaming about, got a glance of his twit of a neighbor running into his apartment with only his boxers and quickly out, pulling up a pair of pants and tying them. Maul slammed his door shut again in Sithly anger, but still held his ear to the door. 

"Is that better?" Obi asked meagerly. 

"Yeah, kind of. It doesn't excuse you for coming over this early. What are you so worried about?" Julie replied as she rubbed her eyes. 

"Well, it has to do with yesterday… Qui Gon kind of…came over after and wanted to know what we were talking about. Soooo…I told him; he isn't pleased." 

Obi started to wring his hands, as Julie put her hand on his bare arm, "He's just jealous, Obi. Maybe he sees there's something there and doesn't want to lose you. But Obi…" Julie continued into a puppy eyes and small voice, "After talking with you lately, I can just sense it. You're not…gay (she held a clear notation of the word). I'm sure most Master's and Padawans have relationships sexually. However, that doesn't mean you can't like women instead. 

"Remember yesterday, when you said you loved me? Why don't you go back and try to explain to Qui Gon; I'm sure he'll understand. Please? For me?" 

Julie started to play with Obi's braid. How could he resist? 

"Okay, I can do that. I-I think…" Obi stuttered, "I-I mean, yes I do love you! A-And Qui Gon needs to realize that. I'm a grown man and soon to be Jedi… I can decide if I want to be straight or not, not him! Okay. I'll go tell him." Obi left with confidence. 

Within a few minutes, she could hear shouting from within Obi's apartment. 

It made her ill to think that Qui Gon and Obi had shared that night together…but maybe from now on she'd have him. Hmmm, she thought. 

Qui Gon came storming out of the apartment and straight up to Julie. 

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Qui Gon, for once, shouted. He was also only wearing his boxers. 

"EWWWW! OLD GUY WINKY!" Julie screamed and covered her eyes. 

As Julie yelled, Obi Wan threw Qui Gon's clothes over his head. 

"No more, Master. I'll be your Padawan but not your lover anymore!" He then smacked Qui Gon over the head, and told him to beat it. Qui Gon left quickly, whimpering. Obi heard a voice inside his mind. 

//Embrace the dark side, Obi. Kick his hippie ass. // 

VSHOOOOMMMMM! 

Obi barely missed Maul with his lightsaber, who ducked inside at the last second, smirking like a Sith. Maul thought to himself, Qui Gon, a Master, screaming, and angry at that girl? Also, Obi defending her, hitting his own Master, and trying to kill me. Hmmm, hope for them yet… 

My Apprentice bucked up against Maul's legs interrupting his own train of thought, into getting his kitty a can of tuna. 

Obi Wan stood in front of Julie with his lightsaber ignited (no, no, no… the blue lightsaber! Not his…. You dirty minded perverts). She was leaning against the door frame mouth dropped in awe. 

VSHOOOOMMMMM! 

His lightsaber resigned, and he tucked it into the belt loop of his pants, which was all he was wearing at this point. He walked forward, mumbling in his mind how horrible he had acted, and how he let the dark force take so much control of him. He looked up, and saw it was worth it. Obi Wan grabbed Julie's waist and pushed his lips forcefully onto hers. They stepped inside and locked the door. 

* * *

"Ow, you're hamster bit me!" 

Obi threw Cuddles out into the hall. Cuddles stormed back to Obi's apartment and waited. 

Obi and Julie resumed making out. 

* * *

Somewhere else in the universe, someone by the name of Bobby Fisher was picking his nose. "Yes, now!" 

* * *

Kiila came back three days early to find Julie and Obi on the couch, close to naked. She dropped her bags in the doorway, and made a quick sentence about going to Maul's place. 

"What's up Kiila? Wait, you're back early." 

"JulieandObiareamakingoutinmyapartmentandwefininshedthetapingearlysoI'mback." 

"Ok, whatever. I don't understand what you said but you can come in anyway." 

Kiila came into his apartment and sat down on the couch next to him. He just sat there. They both sat there. 

Maul was desperately trying to think of something to say. 

"So how were things while I was away?" Kiila looked at him expectantly. 

"Um, just fine. Sidious made me take swing dancing lessons." 

"Oh, really. Will you show me the steps? I know swing dancing." 

"Um. No. I almost killed everyone and I don't remember anything." 

"Shame on you! Clean your apartment!" Kiila sat on the couch while he cleaned the apartment. 

When he finished cleaning the apartment, he sat down on the couch, panting. "Want dinner?" 

"Let's go out somewhere." 

They went off to the Chef Sith restaurant. Maul had never been here because he was never able to pay. Kiila could pay. 

The restaurant was decorated mostly in black. The curtains were red, trim was red, and the tablecloths were red. There were some paintings of dead Jedi on the walls, with the name of the Jedi and the person that killed them underneath. Kiila and Maul had a booth under a painting of a Halcyon, one of the Corellian Jedi. The name of the Halcyon and the Anzati that killed him were slightly scratched. 

They ordered their meals, carefully choosing from the list of items. It was such a long list. They both tried the special, a Tw'liek dish of mynock, with some exotic vegetables on the side. It was delicious. They chose a dessert that was made for two people, a version on Death by Chocolate. They paid the bill, and left rather quickly. The interior decorations were getting Kiila a little edgy, not to mention the feelings the other patrons emanated. They were very surprised that no one had bothered them for Kiila's autograph. When they went home, Kiila searched her apartment, but the only trace of Julie was a note saying she'd be at Obi's place. Kiila moved her stuff into the bedroom, and she and Maul talked for a while, about nothing in particular, until Maul got tired and went home. Kiila decided he had a good idea, and went to bed. 

* * *

When Kiila woke up the next morning, she was surprised to see Julie also asleep in Julie's bed. Kiila walked over to check on her, and was not surprised to see her in PJ's that didn't seem like the kind Julie wore. She wasn't sure why she wasn't surprised. 

Kiila left the bedroom, and went to the kitchen to make some breakfast. Since today was one of three off-days to recover from Kashyyyk, she felt bad about not sleeping in. She ate her breakfast in peace, for once, and found the weather report on TV. 

"Today, we expect showers, with scattered thunderstorms, and some light to moderate winds accompanying them." The weatherman was not an actual meteorologist. He was also a bad actor. Kiila turned it off as soon as she got the full report. 

"What was that, Kii?" Julie walked out of the bedroom, still wearing the wrong PJ's. 

"Just a weather report. It's rain and thunderstorms for today, and wind to go with it. Did you know that you're wearing someone else's PJ's?" 

Julie looked down. "Oops!" She went back in her room to look for her PJ's. She didn't find them. The doorbell rang. Julie came back out carrying the other PJ's (and wearing clothes) just as Obi handed in Julie's actual PJ's. He took his back and left. 

Kiila looked at Julie. "I don't want to know. Don't tell me. Please don't. I just ate breakfast." Kiila went into the bedroom to change into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. 

Today would be a lousy day. It was hot, and it was going to rain. Bad combination of weather. Julie loved it. 

"We can stay inside and play dirty games with guys! Right, don't you want to do that? Kiila, why are you banging your head against the wall?" Julie was very perky. "If there's a thunderstorm, we can pretend like we're scared and sneak in some snuggling with the guys. Stop that, you'll put a hole in the sofa." 

"Shut up! I'm staying right here today! You know how bad hot rainy days are for me! So don't bother me and go make out with Obi again!" Kiila plopped down on the couch and channel surfed for a while. "See? Bad stuff is already happening! There's nothing on but infomercials!" 

* * *

Maul reveled in it. He loved infomercials. There's always all kinds of neat stuff. As he flipped through the channels, he despaired. There was only one infomercial being played on all the channels. He turned it off, and sulked on the couch instead. He didn't want to watch the QSR infomercial. He'd seen it fifty times already. 

* * *

It was a very large storm. Julie and Obi didn't notice it. Kiila and Maul did. Kiila noticed when a branch off one of the trees she'd fallen into smacked into the balcony doors. Maul noticed it because he was on his balcony when the storm started, and saw the branch hit Kiila's balcony doors. He decided that he would go over to her apartment. He didn't know why yet, but he did. 

"Hi, what's up, Maul?" Kiila let him in. She wondered why he was here. So did he. 

"Um, nothing. Are the doors to your balcony…" 

"They're fine. How did you know?" 

"I saw it from my balcony." 

"That explains why you're wet." 

Maul looked down at himself. She had been right, he was dripping wet. "Oops. Sorry. I'll be back in a minute." He went back to his apartment to dry off, and change into some dry clothes. 

Kiila laughed softly to herself. It wasn't turning out so bad today. Maybe Julie was right. Today could be fun. Something else hit the balcony doors. This time it wasn't a branch. It was a person. It was waving to her to be let in. She let him in. It was Mark. He collapsed on the ground panting, and she backed away from him. 

"Don't worry. I'm not going to kill you. I don't want to anymore. Steve was paying us to do that. Otherwise, we wouldn't have hung around him. Duane and I want to be friends again." Mark managed to say this very slowly, since he was still gasping for breath. 

Kiila got him a towel. "We can be friends. I'm not sure what Julie will say, but it's okay with me." 

Maul came back in. "What's he doing here? I thought he was in jail." 

"We had a shortened sentence when we told them we were paid to do it." Mark had regained his breath by now, and stood up. "I'd better go now. Can't stay in one place very long before it gets boring. You'll tell Julie, right?" 

"Yeah. See you." 

Mark left through the door, exchanging smirks with Maul before disappearing to the elevator. 

"That was unexpected, wasn't it?" Maul looked at Kiila as she shrugged. 

* * *

Somewhere in the universe, a group of Velociraptors looked up from their meal and said, "Chocolate!" 

* * *

Maul had gone back to his apartment after they finished watching the movie Kiila had found. Kiila decided to take a shower, and started singing. 

"_That first moment,_   
_We shared a glance,_   
_At one another,_   
_A scent of a feeling was in the air,_   
_Of a very familiar smile._

_A very strange,_   
_A strong power,_   
_Calls out to you,_   
_The meaning of this chance meeting,_   
_Can't you notice any sooner?_

_Under the wide and open sky,_   
_An endless search continues for_   
_Those hot and burning eyes that are yours._

_This fate, to be so very beautiful,_   
_The tears I cry are made to shine,_   
_Shine as bright as ever before._

_There will be,_   
_Memories that will come and hold me down,_   
_But I'll never look,_   
_Back at what's in the past,_   
_Was the feeling that I felt..._" 

"Kiila, shut up already! Do you have to sing in the shower?" Julie was back. 

Life would go on, as sane as ever. Normality sucks. Kiila dried off and got into her PJ's. She went out to see Julie sitting on the couch by herself. 

"Tomorrow's gonna be a beautiful day. Stupid weather man." Julie knew she'd feel obligated to go outside the apartment. Either that, or Kiila would make her. Julie dug under the cushions for her pack of cigarettes. Kiila caught the pack just as it appeared out from under the cushion. 

"You don't want these. Remember what happened last time? I had to tie you to the couch and throw out all the packs until you calmed down enough to not want anymore." She threw the pack off the balcony. Bobby Fisher picked them up as though they were a gift from the Heavens. 

Julie went to bed. Kiila sighed and got out something to drink. 

* * *

Julie and Obi were walking through the alleyways looking for Mark, when they stumbled across a really neat-looking lamp. It was about 3 feet tall, and had a one and a half foot tall red shade on it. It had a black fringe off the top edge of the shade that went the whole length of the shade. The base was a dull brass polish with some streaks of silver swirling around it. Obi picked it up. 

"You want this?" He asked her. 

"Yes! It's so cool! Kiila will love it too!" 

They walked back with the lamp. 

A small figure at the top of the alleyway smiled and left. 

* * *

"It's, lovely. Um, are you sure you want that, Julie?" Kiila was eyeing the lamp. 

"Yes! I want it in the bedroom! No, over here, I want it here!" Julie pointed to a table. 

"I don't think it will go on a table. It's too tall." Obi was panting from carrying the lamp. 

Julie moved the table. "Now put it there." 

He put it down. 

"Perfect!" Julie was pleased with the lamp. She hugged Obi in delight. Obi blushed. 

"Great. Now, what will we do with the table?" Kiila picked the table up. 

"Um…" 

* * *

After rearranging the furniture in their apartment twice, Kiila and Obi were extremely tired, and Julie was still happy about the lamp. Julie hadn't done any of the furniture moving. 

"Let's play Twister! We can get Maul, too!" Julie practically jumped off the couch when she thought of the idea. Kiila dropped onto the floor, and Obi's head rolled backwards and his tongue flopped out. Julie practically bounced out the door, and came back in dragging Maul with her. 

"We're all gonna play Twister, right? Kiila? Why are you on the floor? Look! She's all ready!" Julie ran into the bedroom and got the game. "Who are the teams? I know! We'll have a guys vs. girls games! I'll go against Obi, and Kiila can go against Maul." 

"Isn't Obi on the wrong team then?" Maul had the box thrown at his head. He smirked. 

"Not from what I found out yesterday." She smirked back. 

"Um, I'm not going to ask." Maul shrank back into the corner, as far from the evil box as he could get. 

Julie and Obi went. Kiila called the positions. 

"Left hand red. Right foot blue. Left foot green. Right hand green." 

Nothing too hard yet. Maul took a turn at calling. 

"Right foot yellow. Left hand yellow. Right hand yellow. Left foot green." 

Strange positions were forming on the mat. There were just enough spaces for the limbs on yellow, but they weren't all in three consecutive dots. It alternated, Julie, Obi, Julie, Obi, Julie, Obi. Kiila resumed calling. 

"Left foot red. Right hand yellow. Left foot blue, oh dear, they've fallen. Obi loses." 

Julie had fallen on top of Obi. He had accidentally hit her leg, which caused both of them to lose their balance. 

Kiila and Maul reluctantly stepped up to the mat, and dragged Julie and Obi off it. Obi was about to start calling, when Julie had another idea. 

"What are the stakes for two out of three?" 

Obi, Kiila, and Maul looked at each other in horror. "Money?" Maul suggested hopefully. 

"The losers have to dress up in the outfit of the winner's choice and cook dinner for the winners." 

Maul decided he would win. He didn't realize that Kiila was even more determined to win than he was. Obi figured he'd better start winning, since he couldn't cook. Julie decided she wouldn't win, since her cooking was better than Obi's cooking. She'd seen his kitchen, and had been in pain at the sight. 

Julie started calling for Kii and Maul. 

"Right hand blue. Left foot red. Right hand green. Right hand blue." 

Boring. Not at all hard positions. Obi took a turn at calling. 

"Left hand yellow. Left foot green. Right foot green. Right foot yellow." 

Somewhat difficult, but not too awkward. Julie called. 

"Left hand yellow. Right foot green. Right hand blue. Right hand yellow. Left hand blue. Left hand yellow. Right foot red. Left foot red. Left foot green. Oh, that did it." 

Maul had fallen, and had upset Kiila's balance as well. However, Maul hit the ground first. 

"Maul lost!" Obi was starting to laugh, but was cut off by a glare from Maul. 

"I'll call for you two." Maul sat down with an evil grin at the wheel. 

Julie and Obi stepped up to the mat. 

"Right hand red. Left foot yellow. Right foot green. Left hand red. Left foot red." Maul snickered as Julie fell, not being able to stretch the whole way from red to green. Obi helped Julie up, and picked up the wheel to call for Maul and Kii. 

"Right hand yellow. Left foot green." 

Maul got a good view of Kiila's butt. 

"Left hand red. Right foot blue." It looked like a strange dance step. "Right hand green. Left hand green." They were bent over backwards in their attempts to get the positioning right. "Right foot red." Maul managed to make the stretch fast enough so he didn't upset his balance. Kiila didn't make it. She fell over backward and hit Maul down. 

Julie and Obi stepped up to the mat after Kiila and Maul got out of the way. "You know, whoever loses has to dress up in a silly costume and make dinner." Julie winked at him as she said this. 

"Right hand blue. Left hand green. Right foot red. Left foot yellow. Right hand red. Left hand blue." Julie fell down. Obi stood to help her up. 

"Too bad, Julie." Obi winked, and Julie winked back. 

Maul made puking motions at Kiila, and she nodded in agreement. They stepped up to the mat. 

"Right foot yellow. Left hand green. Right hand blue. Left foot blue. Left foot yellow." Maul was having a few problems, but Kiila was doing fine. "Right foot green. Well, Kiila wins." Maul fell over backwards onto the carpet. Kiila smirked at him. Maul grimaced. 

"Can we play another game now? How about poker?" Julie seemed in the mood for games. 

"No, we're doing dinner now. You two will do your dirty stuff in Obi's apartment. We'll go to Maul's apartment." Kiila dragged Maul out of the apartment. 

* * *

Obi was digging through a pile of costumes. Julie waited patiently in the main room. He brought out a pair of leather spike heels, fishnet tights, a leather mini skirt, and a leather brassiere. 

"I'm not even going to ask why you have that." Julie took the costume into the bathroom and changed. She worried that everything fit, except the tights. They were too big. She leaned out. "Do you have another pair, these are too big for me?" He brought another pair. They fit. She walked out. "Good?" Obi nearly passed out. 

"Nice. Um, real nice." 

Julie went into the kitchen and screamed. "What in the hell is all this stuff? Why is it pink? It looks like rice!" She walked out of the kitchen. "Do you have a coat I can borrow? I need to go back to my apartment and get some stuff that's actually food." 

He handed her a coat. She was back in five minutes with enough stuff for the two of them. She carried it into the kitchen and pulled the coat off. Obi sat at the door and watched as she started preparing the meal of a lifetime. At least for Obi it would be. 

* * *

Kiila dug through a pile of her left over costumes from different shows. She grinned as she saw what she'd been looking for. She handed Maul a purple tutu, blue leotard, and purple tights. He grimaced. 

"You're sure you don't mind me ruining this costume?" Maul asked as they walked over to his apartment. 

"Yeah, it's okay. I never liked that costume anyway. I figured this was a perfect opportunity to ruin it so I can throw it out without feeling bad." She winked at him. 

He changed into the costume, and noticed his tattoo showed through the tights. He grimaced again, and walked out of the bedroom. 

"Ooooo, nice." Kiila was sitting on a chair next to the door to the kitchen. She waved her hand at the kitchen door for him to enter. As he walked past, she pinched his rear. As if it wasn't pinched enough in the tights. She watched as he prepared an elaborate dinner for the two of them. 

* * *

Julie had prepared eggplant-parmesan, salad, and chocolate mousse. They ate in relative silence, considering that all Obi said was praising Julie's cooking and saying it was the best meal he'd ever eaten. 

They then proceeded to wedge Julie out of the tight leather outfit. She was rather sweaty, and so was he, after the ordeal in getting her out of the costume. Therefore, they took a shower. Together. 

* * *

By the end of the meal, Maul was feeling extra stupid. He'd put several holes in the costume, and was desperately wishing he hadn't agreed to the stakes. Kiila reassured him she'd make it up to him. He wondered how. 

"Well, I guess we'd better get you out of that, shouldn't we?" Kiila had a strange glint in her eye. 

"Um, wait. We? What does that mean?" 

Kiila laughed maniacally. Maul realized what she meant, and smirked. It would be a good night. 

* * *

That night, Maul discovered what a good singer Kiila was, as well as a few other things she was good at, too. She'd sung the strangest song, it was so haunting. 

"_The evening sun now blazes down_   
_Like it's melting into the quiet sea_   
_This view I see with you_   
_I will brand into myself._   
_The wind comes once more_   
_That way is dangerous_   
_The ones who can protect from the_   
_Enemies outside_   
_Are you and I_

_I want to thank fate_   
_ That you and I could meet_   
_ Breaking the false silence_   
_ Together we'll win back true_   
_ Peace_

_Everyone is alone in the world_   
_Life, a continual solitary journey_   
_That's what I thought_   
_Until the day you arrived._   
_No matter how your wounds hurt you,_   
_You won't depend on anyone_   
_Always true to your own feelings_   
_I want to be with you_

_I won't regret it_   
_'Cause we walked this path together_   
_Before love was born, beneath the stars_   
_We were destined to be soldiers_

_I want to thank fate_   
_ That you and I could meet_   
_ Breaking the false silence_   
_ Together we'll win back true_   
_ Peace_." 

They'd gone to bed after that. 

* * *

Qui Gon came back to Obi's apartment the next day. He got really mad when he saw Julie there. 

"What are you doing, Padawan?" He was furious. However, he did not yet know that Cuddles had actually taken a liking to Julie. Cuddles had been allowed to try some of the dinner she had cooked, and he liked it. 

Cuddles leapt on Qui Gon and started attacking him, to show he wasn't welcome anymore. Qui Gon tossed Cuddles at Julie and ran out the door, before the hamster could attack again. Julie started stroking Cuddles and telling him how cute he was, and how soft his fur is, and all that stuff that Obi usually says. 

* * *

Kiila was back in her apartment again that day. She was somewhat surprised to not see Julie there as well. Then again, Julie and Obi really had a habit of going at it these days. She laughed softly to herself. Was that the way she and Maul would end up? She made herself some breakfast and decided she'd make sure it wasn't. That kind of thing would probably get boring for them after a while. Then again, that would make it interesting, to see what they'd do afterwards. She laughed louder. Then she laughed maniacally. 

Julie walked in. "What's so funny?" 

"Oh, nothing, just thinking." 

"Yeah, right, bitch." 

Kiila made a face at Julie. Julie stalked into the bedroom. Kii ignored her and finished her breakfast. 

* * *

Maul woke up to the fact that Kiila was no longer in bed with him. He wondered when she'd left, when he heard his master calling. He got out of bed and pulled on some pants. He grabbed his 'Sith Kicks Ass' T-shirt on the way out of the bedroom. He flopped on the couch and opened the door using the Force. 

"Maul. You are terrible. What are you doing, watching the TV while it's not on?" Sidious glared at his apprentice for the obvious attempt to make him think Maul had been awake for a while. "Now then, I have something for you to do." 

"Go away. I'm tired." 

"And what were you doing last night that made you so tired?" 

"We played Twister™. I lost." 

"Played Twister™? With who?" 

"Neighbors. I was paired against Kiila." 

"And the stakes were…?" 

"Stakes? We didn't play for anything." Maul desperately tried to hide that he was lying. 

"Really. What's this?" Sidious pulled the tutu and the tights out of the garbage can. 

Maul stuck his head under the cushions to hide. It didn't work. 

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU ACTUALLY DOING LAST NIGHT? I will be back later with something else for you to do. What I had this time wasn't a good enough punishment for you." Sidious stormed out, after hiding the tutu and tights in his robes. 

After Sidious left, Maul ran back into his bedroom and went back to bed, hoping to escape whatever horror his master would come up with. 

* * *

Kiila and Julie looked at each other as they heard Sidious yelling. 

"That didn't sound good. Maybe we should try to get him out of it by telling him whose fault it really was." Kiila looked pointedly at Julie. 

"Hey, I'm not taking the blame. He lost, that's all. It's his fault for losing." 

"Yeah, well it was your idea to play it in the first place. Plus, you dragged him over here. Oh, well, at least it wasn't as bad as strip poker would have been." Kiila started laughing. Julie blinked, and joined her. 

Havoc crawled into Kiila's lap and looked up at her. 

"Aw, is Havoc hungry? I'll bet you are." Kiila picked up the armadillo and carried her into the kitchen. 

* * *

Julie was cleaning up the neglected mess from the Twister™ game, and Kiila was starting a dinner that would take all day to cook at a low temperature. The doorbell rang. Julie answered it. It was Mark. 

"Mark!" Julie was so happy to see him without having to worry about him trying to kill her. 

"I see you liked the lamp I left for you guys." Mark looked at the Twister™ box on the floor, and figured he'd better not ask. 

"You left that? Thanks! We love it so much. Right, Kii?" 

"Yeah, sure whatever." Kiila was just coming out of the kitchen. "Did you have to make us rearrange the furniture twice to get it in?" 

Mark smirked. "I didn't think it would take that much effort to find a place for one lamp." 

"Julie is a perfectionist. She takes design too literally." Kiila walked back into the kitchen to finish the dinner. 

"Well, I'd better go. I get edgy staying in one place too long. I'll stop in some other time." Mark disappeared into the elevator before Julie could say another word. 

* * *

Maul could vaguely hear the doorbell ring. He probed with his mind. It was Obi. Maul answered the door. 

"Hey neighbor, the girls wanted to know if we wanted to go out today. Do you?" 

Maul viewed this as the perfect opportunity to get away from his master. "Yeah. Tell them I'd love to come." He smirked. "Where were they thinking of going?" 

"I didn't ask. I forgot to." 

"You don't know! And you agreed?" 

"I said I'd go if you did. It seemed like a good idea at the time." Obi started staring at his feet. 

"Oh well, it will have to be better than waiting around for my master to come with punishment." 

* * *

They went to the northern pole of Coruscant for the rest of the day. It was a nice area of ice and snow. 

Snowball fights were imminent. It was an all out brawl, and the girls were winning. Obi didn't have the heart to hit them. 

"You stupid pansy! Why won't you hit them?" Maul had started beating up on Obi. He was knocked down by a flying tackle from Kiila. Julie tackled Obi. 

"Now that we're all getting along nicely," Kiila announced to the rest of them from her position of sitting on Maul. "I think we should use the snow-speeder bikes we rented and have a race or two." 

"That sounds like a great idea!" Obi was trying to pry Julie off him with out hurting her. 

Maul tossed Kiila into a nearby snow bank, which she immediately leapt out of and tossed him into, making a larger hole than she did. He stood up dizzily, and walked back over to the others. He stared at Kiila. She looked somewhat blurry. 

"Oh good, this means I get to drive since your not feeling well." Maul fell over when Kiila said that. 

"Me versus her. I'm scared." Obi looked at the speeders. 

"I could drive." Julie was disappointed when Obi shook his head at her. 

They mounted the bikes. Julie sat behind Obi, and gripped him rather tightly. She knew how Kiila drove, and how Obi would have to drive to keep up with her. Maul held on to Kiila who gripped the handlebars with vengeance. 

"Maul, you may want to hang on a little tighter. I drive pretty fast." 

"Yeah, sure. I'll be okay." 

"If you insist. Julie, be a dear and start the countdown." 

"Start your engines!" They did so. "Get ready. Five, four, three, two, one. Go!" 

They started flying across the snow. Maul immediately grabbed Kiila tighter. Kiila was about ten meters in front of Obi. She had reflexes honed from years of racing, and had gotten the start a split second before he did. As she looked forward, she saw a canyon through the mountain range. It was narrow. It looked like fun. 

She powered toward it. Obi saw what she was doing, and thought she was nuts. He followed anyway. Julie gripped him tighter, and she buried her face in his cloak. 

Maul was not having a good time of it. He was hanging on for dear life, and being totally frightened since Kiila was laughing like a maniac. He saw the canyon ahead and resisted screaming. 

Kiila reached the canyon long before Obi did. She powered through the first hairpin turn, and Maul grabbed a bad thing to hang onto. She elbowed him in the head and got him to let go. There were spikes in the canyon ahead. They glittered in the sun. She zigzagged through the ice spikes, and came out the other side just as Obi got to them. He had no idea which route she'd taken, so he got through as fast as possible, and caught a glimpse of Maul's cape disappearing around the next corner. 

The corner was actually a U-turn, and Kiila pulled it very tight. She didn't slow for the corner. Maul was hanging on very tightly. Kiila zoomed up over the largest boulder, and came crashing down on the other side, sending up a spray of snow that looked like a rainbow to Obi and Julie. This sort of thing was an art to Kiila. 

She sped out of the canyon on the other side. There was a series of small hills ahead of her. Slalom time. She grinned. She hopped over each hill, sending up small sprays of snow. Maul, gripping Kiila's waist, looked back to see Obi mimicking her moves perfectly, but not quite managing the sprays of snow to be so artistic. 

He looked forward and saw a small orange parka with brown fur around the face. Kiila ran over it. They heard a shout from behind them. 

"OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED KENNY! WAIT! IT'S JUST YODA!" 

Kiila shrugged and hurried on. She saw a large boulder in the distance, and decided that would be the finish. She waved the signal to Julie. 

"That boulder's the finish!" Julie yelled to Obi. 

"You mean we didn't have a set course?" 

"Why would we have a set course?" 

Obi watched the speeder bike in front of him perform a large hop over the last hill and send up a huge spray of snow. He tried to do the same, but it didn't quite work. Julie grabbed him tighter halfway through the maneuver, and he was sent flying off to the side. Kiila and Maul made it to the rock before Obi managed to correct his course. There was a very tall person, taller than Qui Gon, hugging the rock. Maul kicked his ass. 

"Who was that?" Julie stepped off the speeder bike and dropped to the ground to recover from the trip. 

"Fred the Wonder Dog." 

"I thought we lost him when we lost Steve." 

"We didn't actually lose Steve. He found us, remember. Don't worry, Maul kicked his ass." 

"Oh, good. I wonder why he was hugging the rock." 

"I don't want to know." Obi had also collapsed onto the ground, and was now shoving his head in the snow to wash the sweat off. 

Maul was laying face up in the snow with his arms and legs straight up, as though he was playing dead. Kiila was walking around, as she was the only one that could still stand. 

"Where did you learn to drive like that?" Obi looked up at her. 

"Oh, here and there. It's such an art, and so much fun!" Kiila looked at one particular point on the rock, and decided it would be a bad idea to point out what it was, and why Fred the Wonder Dog had been hugging it. She walked over to her speeder bike and leaned against it. 

"When we go back, do we have to drive as fast?" Julie looked up at Kiila with pleading eyes. 

"Only if you want to. I don't care. I had my fun." She grinned, flopped down in the snow, and started to make a snow angel. Maul saw what she was doing, and mimicked it. He stood up, a little shaky still, and looked at it. Kiila looked at it, too. She stepped into it, very carefully, and took the indentations of his horns and made them show up a little more. Julie looked at it and started giggling. Obi just stared blankly. Kiila let out a burst of plain old laughter. Maul made the horns even bigger and started snickering. 

Julie stood up and started making a ball out of the snow. Obi helped her make it larger and larger. Kiila and Maul started making a smaller ball, and when Obi and Julie finished the first ball, they started on the last. They put it all together, a pile of snow from largest to smallest on the top. Kiila stuck her fingers into the top ball to make eyes, a nose, and a mouth. They looked at their work, climbed on the speeders, and took a relaxing drive back; the people who hadn't driven before were driving now. 

* * *

They returned to Kiila and Julie's apartment to a warm dinner of nerf in a nice brown sauce with noodles. 

Maul and Obi returned to their respective apartments, and everyone got a good night's sleep, by themselves, for once. 

* * *

Kiila had to go back to work the next day, so Julie spent the day at Obi's apartment. 

Maul was tortured for the Twister™ game and for not being there the previous day when Sidious had come. 

Julie and Obi had lots of fun. They were the only ones that did that day. 

When Julie finally came home, she'd expected to find Kiila on the couch asking for dinner, but she wasn't there. Kiila had come home, eaten a small dinner she'd made herself, and gone straight to bed. Julie sighed, made herself some dinner, ate it, and went back to Obi's with her PJ's to spend the night. It seemed like a good idea. Obi liked it, too. 

* * *

Kiila woke up, and didn't even worry when Julie was nowhere to be found in the apartment. She made herself some breakfast and left before Julie could turn up and bother her. 

* * *

Maul was in pain. He didn't even get out of bed when his master started calling for him. Unfortunately, My Apprentice let Sidious in. 

"What do you think you're doing? You are so lazy! Get up." Sidious was floating in the air over Maul's bed. He kicked Maul. 

Maul just groaned. He didn't say anything. 

Sidious got even angrier. He lit Maul's sheets on fire, and left. 

Maul jumped up, grabbed his sheets, and dunked them in the toilet to put the fire out. He then tossed the sheets in the laundry basket, ran a nice hot bath, and slept in the bathtub instead of his bed. 

* * *

Kiila came home, dumped her stuff on the couch in the main room, and stumbled over to Maul's apartment. When he didn't answer the door, she went back to her apartment, took a nice warm bath, and went to bed. She'd had a rough day, again. 

* * *

Kiila came back the next day feeling extremely cheerful. She was ready to burst. She looked around for Julie, but, as usual, Julie was at Obi's apartment. Kiila decided she would tell Maul. 

"Hi, what's up?" 

"I don't have to work for the next two weeks! Isn't that great?" She walked into his apartment and plopped onto his couch. She beckoned Maul to sit next to her. 

"And what does this mean, Kii?" Maul asked apprehensively. 

She pulled him close and kissed him. He kissed back. It progressed from there. 

* * *

Julie came back to her apartment to find Kiila's stuff thrown on the sofa and a quickly written note that she would be at Maul's place. There was also something very messily written about a paid vacation for two weeks to some planet or other. Julie couldn't read the whole thing, but she could tell that it would be for some guests Kiila might like to take, the maximum being 5. Julie looked again. She still couldn't exactly read the planet. It was probably a luxury planet of some kind. Julie ran back to Obi's to tell him, but stopped in front of Maul's door. She put her ear to it. Then she rang the doorbell. 

Maul answered. "Yes?" 

"Is Kiila here? Of course she is! Can I talk to her?" 

"THE PLANET IS ACTUALLY THE MOON ALAKATHA!" Kiila's voice floated out of the apartment. 

"Thanks!" 

Julie walked over to Obi's place and told him. He got so excited that he danced her around the room and they started making out. 

* * *

Somewhere in the universe, Bobby Fisher looked up at the Heavens, wished for another pack of cigarettes, and said "Hi-yo!" 

* * *

They left the next day, after they actually managed to pack. They spent two weeks in total bliss, being waited on hand and foot. 

Although it was a great joy, and some of the other actors from the show were being extremely personable, even complaining about their personality problems, they were almost glad when it was over. They were almost glad to return to their normal way of life.   


* * *

_The End, for now!_

* * *

Kiila's comments: Julie, help more! She doesn't do the major problems, just details. Um, the songs are the English translations of two Japanese songs. The site I got the actual songs from is down right now. They don't belong to me. I can't tell you where they actually are from cause Julie will kill me. She hates that kind of stuff. I'm surprised she even lets me put them in. Anyway, feedback is welcome, write to me at Lilicat@aol.com and make sure you put 'Story' in the title. Otherwise, I'll delete it. And don't send me viruses or I'll get Julie's dog to smack you around for a while. 

Julie's comments:   



	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimers: Um, only Kiila, Julie, Mark, Laura, and the armadillos belong to us. Star Wars characters belong to the Almighty George Lucas. Anything not mentioned above that you may have possibly heard of belongs to someone else. Don't sue us, we not even old enough to drink, regardless of what we do in the story. Hey, we can't even drive, again, regardless of what we do in the story.   
  
Happy Birthday to Who? And What's With the Squid?   
By Julie and Kiila the Spellsinger   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie woke up and peeked at the calendar. It was two days until her birthday. She wondered if anyone knew, other than Kiila.   
  
She looked around, and wondered why Kiila had left so early.   
  


* * *

  
  
Kiila was at Maul's apartment with Maul and Obi.   
  
"In two days time…"   
  
"The world will end?" Maul was being a problem.   
  
"Cheese curls won't be cheesy?" Obi was being a problem.   
  
"SHUT UP! In two days time it's Julie's birthday! We need to plan a party for her."   
  
The two guys looked at her blankly.   
  
"Why don't we just buy her stuff and make food?"   
  
"Well, we'll do that, but in an organized fashion, like planning what to make, and making sure we don't all give the same gift to her. Really, you need a better sense of life."   
  
Obi knew what he would get her. He grinned.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie had gone over to Obi's place that day, and he let her in, as usual, but after a quick rearrangement of the contents of his apartment. She had no idea what was going on, but he'd hidden a bag of stuff he'd bought that day, before she'd come over.   
  
They did what they usually did, which was talk until they couldn't stand each other any longer and start making out with each other.   
  


* * *

  
  
Maul went to the department store, looking for something that was suitable, and he wouldn't look stupid buying. He gave up when Yoda started insisting that he would buy little porcelain figurines.   
  
He went to the food stores to relieve his stress. He found a cake mix, and decided that instead of ordering the cake like Kiila had told him to, he would make it himself. He bought a whole bunch of tubes of icing, and all the different fancy icing spreaders. He picked up some paper and a pencil, too.   
  
He was going to have fun.   
  


* * *

  
  
Kiila walked back from the studio, peering into shops on the way back to see if she could find something for Julie. Mark dropped in front of her.   
  
"What's up, Kii?"   
  
"Julie's birthday is two days from now. Are you coming? Please? She'll love it."   
  
"Yeah, I'll come. You can count on it." Mark jumped back into the shadows and left.   
  
Kiila walked further on, and saw something in a shop. She went inside, and bought the item. Julie would love it.   
  


* * *

  
  
Kiila hid the bag under the bed, straightened up a few things around the apartment, and went over to Maul's apartment to see what he was doing.   
  
He let her in.   
  
"Don't mind me, I'm just baking a cake."   
  
"I thought I told you to order one." Kiila stormed into the kitchen after him, and gasped when she saw the design he had laid out on a piece of paper.   
  
"It's not much but it's the best I could manage on short notice."   
  
It was a layout of dark red flowers with a deep green stems and leaves. It had smaller dark purple flowers around the red ones. Fancy lettering read 'Happy Birthday Julie!' There was also something like a river that, when actually made, would seem to be flowing across the cake. There were places marked where candles would sit.   
  
"Where did you learn to do this?" Kiila looked at Maul in astonishment.   
  
"No where in particular. This gives me something to do while I sit around waiting for Sidious to bother me. Other than play video games, that is." He finished pouring the batter into the pans. "I'll make the actual cake today, and put the base icing on, but I'll do the decorating tomorrow, and keep it chilled between that. It actually does better then." He stuck the pans in the oven and set the timer.   
  
"You are a genius."   
  
He pulled her to him and kissed her.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie decided that she should go back and see what Kiila was up to. When she got back to her apartment, she looked around, and realized that Kiila would be at Maul's place. She didn't feel like going back to Obi yet, so she plopped on the couch and watched TV for a while.   
  


* * *

  
  
Kiila got up the next day, before Julie, as habit had become, and left in a hurry.   
  
She ran back to the shop, since she'd just remembered something else she'd seen, and even told Maul about, that would make a perfect topper to the cake he designed.   
  
She got there, and it was just opening. She got inside, but she couldn't find it again. She talked to the proprietor.   
  
"Oh, yes! We have one of those left. Here," he named a price. It was a little high, but not enough to worry anyone so. She bought it, and ran back to the apartment building with it. She rang Maul's doorbell. He'd been waiting for her.   
  
"It was the last one," She panted. "I have to get out of here." She left in a hurry.   
  
He ran into the kitchen and changed the design slightly to incorporate the figurine. Then he started putting the design on the cake.   
  
The doorbell rang. He waited just a second to finish the part he was working on, and then answered the door. It was Obi.   
  
"Kii said you were making a cake, can I see?"   
  
He showed Obi the design, and got back to work.   
  
"You are a master! How do you do these things?"   
  
"I just do. Now go keep her out of here."   
  
Obi left to do just that.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie got a call about a new species discovered on another planet. She took Obi with her, again, because she liked having the company. It was reptile from Yavin 4.   
  
Or, at least it appeared to be a reptile. It was actually a mammal. She and the other scientists were having fun arguing over it.   
  


* * *

  
  
Kiila got home from the studio and ran over to Maul's place after she dropped her stuff on the bed. He let her in and showed her the now completed cake. It was perfect, even the little figurine on top on the pile of red roses.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie woke up the next morning, ate her breakfast, and went over to see Obi, but no one was there. She tried Maul's door, but no one was there. Then she remembered Kiila had the day off. She went back to her apartment to look for Kiila but there was no one there. 

* * *

  
  
"When is she going to open the elevator door?"   
  
"I don't know." 

"Be quiet."   
  
The elevator lurched, and started moving down.   
  
"Uh-oh." Six hands frantically pushed the buttons for their three owners' floor.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie looked at the door to the hall from her apartment. There was a note that said, 'Open the Right Elevator Door.'   
  
She walked out into the hall and pushed the button for the right elevator.   
  


* * *

  
  
"Oh, hi there, what were you three doing in the elevator?" The elderly lady pushed the button for a floor below theirs.   
  
"Oh, nothing. We just like going up and down."   
  
After the lady got off, they got ready. They were headed for their floor again.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie waited for the elevator to come.   
  
"SURPRISE!!!!" Julie jumped when the three of them popped out of the elevator door. They were stuck while they waited for the door to open farther.   
  
"Stupid old lady screwed everything up!" Kiila explained.   
  
Julie picked Obi up and tried to drag him to her apartment, and he let her.   
  
"Alright, Maul, time to set up for the main party." Kiila and Maul went into her apartment to set up the stuff. Obi knew what time to bring Julie back. 

* * *

  
Julie came back with Obi to a gourmet dinner prepared by Maul and Kiila. They had cooked her favorite meal. Mark dropped onto the balcony and Kiila let him in.   
  
After the meal, they sat around for Julie to open her presents. She opened Mark's gift first. It was a container of fluid for cleaning the lamp, and a book on how to redecorate your apartment. After that, he said he had to leave. He jumped off the balcony. Everyone stood out there and waved goodbye to him as he disappeared. She opened the gift from Kiila next. It was a tiny blue porcelain egg that opened to reveal an even tinier figure of a girl with dark red hair holding an armadillo. She stood and put it on the mantel above the TV. She opened the box that held a part of Obi's presents. There was a note that said 'More to Come', and a sketch of her sitting on her balcony in her robe, in a frame. It was signed with his initials.   
  
"You drew this? It's so good!" She put that on the mantel as well. Then she looked around for a present from Maul. Then she looked around for Maul. "What…"   
  
A cake was laid on the table. There was an interlacing design of deep red roses, with some smaller purple ones intertwined, fancy writing that said 'Happy Birthday Julie', and a small figurine of an armadillo and a kitten playing together.   
  
There were candles as well, but rather than looking like an obstruction on the cake like they normally would, they had been incorporated into the design and amplified it. The candles were lit, a picture was taken, the lights turned down, the song sung, and the candles blown out. The cake was served with a round of fresh drinks for everyone. The cake and the drink selected by Kiila were the perfect after dinner combination. Everyone retired to the places they wanted to be; Julie and Obi going to his apartment for the rest of the gifts and some good beer, and Kiila and Maul cleaned up and relaxed on the couch, in Maul's apartment, drinking some more good beer.   
  


* * *

  
  
Obi and Julie returned to his suite. 

Cuddles scampered across Julie's shoulders as she stood on tiptoe to reach Obi's lips. 

"You don't want to open your other gifts yet?" 

Julie smirked, "I thought this was my other gift." 

"Well, the other gifts are on the bed…just in case," he beamed back. With his arms tightly around her he picked her up and brought her into the bedroom, only to lie her in the middle of a small circle of brightly decorated gifts. 

"Oh, my Gods! How many gifts did you buy me!" Julie's mouth dropped, "The picture was too much let alone all this, Obi." 

Obi handed her one of the packages, laughing, and said, "Just open your gifts!" 

Julie opened the small box and pulled out an impossibly thin, see-through baby doll and thong. "Oh, and this gift is supposed to be for me?" Obi nodded at her. "Well, it seems more of a gift for you." 

Obi picked up another gift and threw it at her. Julie's eyebrow shot up, "Oh? So you don't want me to wear it at all then?" 

"I didn't say that… we'll just save it for later." Obi grinned, "Here open this one next." 

It was a rather large box, and Julie ripped the paper off in excitement. Two matching bath wraps with Obi Wan printed on the smaller one and Julie on the longer of the two. She brought the cotton up to her face and rubbed it against her cheek. "Who's apartment should we keep these in, though?" Julie asked reaching for Obi's hand. 

Obi leaned forward and kissed her forehead and down to her nose. "You have to close your eyes for your next present, Ok? No peeking." 

Julie closed her eyes tight. She could hear Obi moving to the living room. He had closed the door behind him so she didn't know what he was doing. Soon the door opened again. Obi moved behind her and sat down, she instinctively leaned back into his arms. "Hold out your hands," Obi whispered. 

Julie followed the command. Something wiggled in her hand. She opened her eyes. A small golden hamster climbed uncertainly over her fingers. It wasn't Fluffi Wan Jr. and didn't have the markings of Cuddles.   
  
Cuddles crawled from Obi's collar over his arms onto Julie's and down into her hands, to be with the other hamster. 

"Obi…" Julie stumbled for words. 

"I saw her in the shop and she just reminded me so much of you. Sweet and darling. I have to say she has grown quite attached to Cuddles though. And Cuddles to her." 

"Obi, darling, I have no place for her right now. Where will I keep her?" Julie looked forlornly up at him. She placed the hamsters on the bed and they began to roam, together. 

"Well, she can stay with Cuddles and Fluffi in the Habitrail 3000. She really seems to like the Zen garden…" His voice trailed off. "But…there is a problem. Cuddles and her seem so attached. I'm afraid to break them up when we get a cage for… well you haven't even chosen a name for her yet!" 

"Flower, that is if you like that name. It kind of goes with the name Cuddles and Fluffi don't you think?" Julie paused. "They can always visit right? And when I stay overnight…I'll bring her." Julie laughed as Obi rounded up the two hamsters and put them back in the cage. He came back into the room to find Julie smiling deeply at him. 

He smiled back and sat close, running his hand through her hair. "Actually, I had a better idea." 

"Oh?" 

Obi pulled his fist out of his pocket. He took her hand and placed a key-chain in it. Julie looked at Obi and down at the key-chain. Her mouth opened in awe. The key-chain was enough, with its plastic reading 'Love my Jedi's lightsaber!' but the keys she instinctively knew were to the apartment and a small silver ring dangling from the key ring itself. 

Obi unlocked the key ring and took off the small silver ring. When tilted up Julie saw a small emerald cut Corusca gem with two diamonds on either side. "I just thought…that this way you could take care of Flower whenever need be. And…take care of me." He paused to make sure he still had her attention 

"I know it's not a large diamond or expensive as most engagement rings are, but the allowance that a Padawan receives…well you know. And I didn't have much saved…" He stopped abruptly as she nuzzled up into the hole of his neck. He could feel her tears and smile through the soft kisses.   
  


* * *

  
  
The next few weeks went quickly, though they were very boring. Julie was called in to classify species only twice, though she was paid well for them. Kiila's weeks were filled with boring rehearsals and tapings. Obi (with Cuddles and Fluffi Wan Jr.) and Maul had to go back to their respective training facilities right after Julie's birthday. Julie was so mad not to be able to see Obi after he'd proposed to her. And she'd even accepted.   
  
Same old stuff to do, with the exception of Julie going to Obi's apartment to care for Flower. Everyone was getting edgy for something interesting to happen. 

Kiila was given two months paid vacation while the studio found out how the show would go over with the public.   
  


* * *

  
  
"Now, tell me again how much I have in my account." Kiila looked straight at the teller-droid and challenged it to say what it had said a second ago.   
  
It said it again. Kiila's mouth dropped open.   
  
"Thank you! Close current access."   
  
"Thank you, have a nice day!" The teller-droid changed to general access from private account access channels to wait for the next customer.   
  
Kiila walked over to the display of worlds open to tourists. She was going on a little trip for a while.   
  


* * *

  
  
"Hey Julie! I'm gonna take a little R & R all to myself for the next two months."   
  
"Where are you going?" Julie walked out of the kitchen and looked at Kiila flipping through brochures.   
  
"I'm not sure yet. There's a nice setup on Kashyyyk. I may go back there. It had such nice jungles."   
  
"That is not rest and relaxation for you. That is swinging around trees and getting attacked by stuff."   
  
"Oh, don't worry! There are areas setup where tourists can travel, and they have guards posted to make sure none of the dangerous stuff gets in there."   
  
"And knowing you, that is exactly the place you will stay away from."   
  
"Hey! I'm a good girl. I do what I'm told!" Kiila flipped to the next brochure.   
  
"Oh! I could go to the Mon Calamari home world! You know how much I love to swim!" Kiila jumped up from the couch.   
  
"I'll bet they have regulated areas for swimming too, which are what you'll avoid, as usual."   
  
"I will not! I promise I won't! If I do, I'll cook for myself for a week when I get back!" Kiila held out both hands to her friend to show she wasn't lying.   
  
"All right."   
  


* * *

  
  
Kiila walked out of the spaceport on Calamari, and looked at all the wonders around her. She pulled out her map, but the top, where she'd figured out that her hotel was, was folded down by the red flipper-hand of a native.   
  
"Please, as it seems that you are new to this world, allow one of the official guides, like myself, guide you to your hotel, rather than follow a piece of paper." He bowed to her, and when he looked up, Kii saw the tags that marked him as being genuine.   
  
"All right." She gave him the address of her hotel, and as he led her to the vehicle that would take her to her destination, she saw a squadron of Old Republic guards standing at the entrance.   
  
"Just once I would like to get away from somewhere with the uniforms." She said that to her Mon Calamari guide once they were both in the vehicle.   
  
"Then you have come to the right planet, for this spaceport was the only place on the entire planet that has any Old Republic guards. It has to do with a deal made between the two governments." The Mon Calamari seemed ready to supply any information she wanted. "Everywhere else is guarded only by Mon Calamari guards, if at all."   
  
"Do you know which places to rent water-skimmers and such have the fewest tourists?"   
  
The Mon Calamari chortled at this. "You want to be around as few people as possible? Then you should go to the water port furthest to the southwest. Its far from all the others, relatively cheap, and has very few people that go there. There are also caves to explore, and they have a very good security system so that the large predators will not disturb you. You will have little to worry about, so that you have time to take in all the scenery. Though tell me, why do you want to be away from people?"   
  
"Less chance I'll be recognized. I'm an actress." Kiila was staring out the windows to take in all of the beautiful architecture around her. The buildings seemed to be almost blown glass, though they were primarily opaque. There were mini-aquariums every where, and there didn't seem to be any glass holding the water together. She recalled that the Mon Calamari had a way to hold water together with a gravity producer.   
  
"You like the water globes? We make miniature gravity fields for people who would like them. You can buy them at most of the tourist traps and some of the other stores as well. They make good gifts, and are not very expensive."   
  
_I'll bet that Maul and Obi would like one, and Julie would think it was great! I'll get a few later._ Kiila thought to herself.   
  
Her guide dropped her at the hotel, and gave her a print out of some of the things that he thought were good places to eat and visit.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie was having a great time, though it was slightly boring without Obi there to, forget that, she was still having a great time. There was no one to bother her for a meal, except when Flower was hungry. However, a letter had come for Kiila, and she was wondering if she should open it.   
  
Ah, hell, she opened it anyway. It was from the studio. They'd had to cut her vacation short, and she was needed back there right away. Julie just about died. Now she had to call the studio and tell them Kiila was on another planet, and she had to call Kiila and get her back.   
  
She called the studio first. They said that they would figure out how to do things without Kiila, like filming scenes she didn't have to do anything for. They said Kiila actually deserved the vacation because her character was a hit on the show, and she'd been doing a lot of work. They also said that it would still be a paid vacation, too.   
  
Julie went back to enjoying her break from everyone.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie decided she'd get a job at a local store, so she could get some extra cash. She went down to the local Wal-Mart, where she was shown to the manager's office by Yoda.   
  
"Take my job you will." Yoda looked her over sternly.   
  
"Why would I do that, I'm not going to work full time."   
  
"As am I, but look better you do."   
  
"Hey!"   
  
"Manager's office this is. In go you!" He left her at the door. The main reason he disappeared was that she had waited until she was at her destination to drop kick him across the store.   
  
The manager hired her at once, since all he could ever get were full time workers, and he had enough trouble fitting the ones he had into the schedule. Part times were so much easier to schedule.   
  
Julie got the stupid apron with the pin when she came in the next day. They'd made it up for her right away. She had her schedule, and she had her pay coming in for wandering around the kitchen department helping people. Her break from Kiila, and possible permanent part time job, was all set. 

* * *

  
Kiila was having a great time. She'd gone to the water port the guide had suggested. The price she'd paid for the whole deal of equipment and a boat was less than she would have paid for just a boat at any of the other places. And what was more, she had it to herself. There were a couple of the company's guard floating around that were to keep their distance from the divers as not to disturb them, but close enough to be able to help the divers in case of trouble.   
  
Kiila was performing all sorts of stunts in the water. She'd never quite felt this free in the water before. There had always been five solid walls around the water. This was a huge ocean! Even the guards were impressed with some of the tricks she'd performed. They'd have to try them later. She spiraled down into one of the caves, and felt the guards following at a distance. She didn't mind them. They were polite, and they kept their distance.   
  
What was that shadow down at the end of the corridor? She got closer to it, but she backed away when she felt that the guards were getting closer than before. Something was wrong. She was too late in backing away. A tentacle zipped out and grabbed her arm. She wanted to scream, but she knew she couldn't let go of the respirator in her mouth. The last thing she saw were the guards coming to help free her and a tentacle reached in front of her eyes, and she couldn't see anything. She blacked out.   
  


* * *

  
  
Obi was practicing his different calming techniques, when he sensed another presence in the room. It wasn't his master.   
  
"Did you know Kiila's studio had asked for her to come back already, but changed their minds?" Mark walked in front of Obi.   
  
"I hope Julie's not too worried."   
  
"She's not. So how are you and she getting along now that you're engaged?" 

"Just fine."   
  


* * *

  
  
The Mon Calamari guards rushed Kiila to the nearby hospital after they freed her from the creature. They had never encountered a jilanaitat in this area before. Fortunately, her injuries had been minor, and she was released from the hospital in two days. The company she'd used to go diving said they would give her a free dive since she hadn't reached her time limit on that one. They also said they wanted to know where she'd learned some of the tricks she'd done.   
  
She said she'd teach them later, when she was well enough to swim.   
  
For now, she took surface boating trips to see the different life forms that were too large to be taken to zoos on other planets. Several types would even come right up to the boat to be petted. The guide explained why they would, and allowed her to pet them.   
  
She'd also bought three of the gravitational globes for fishbowls without bowls. She'd give one to Maul, a larger one for Julie and Obi as an engagement present, and one for herself. She knew Julie would move into Obi's apartment, so she'd have to have her own water globe.   
  
The Mon Calamari had great taste in clothing. She'd bought herself a couple outfits for going around the town at night in, since none of what she'd brought with her seemed appropriate. She'd bought one in a lovely teal, the color of the sea and another in a lavender shade, the way the sunset was at night.   
  
Kiila did not want to leave.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie was having fun in the kitchen department, and earning extra cash as well. Occasionally she had to tell the manager she needed to leave work to go classify a new species. He didn't seem to mind at all.   
  


* * *

  
  
Maul gripped the arms of his chair as he was forced to watch the horrible movies. He'd been chained into the chair fifteen minutes ago, to see how much of The Little Mermaid it would take before he either broke free or blew the TV set up. Maul was going for break free. It wasn't working. The stupid mermaids reminded him of Kiila. He wondered what she was doing. He focused his attention back on the little crab on the screen. The crab would do it. Crabs shouldn't sing. Maul blew the TV up. Oh well, he forced himself out of the bonds. He stood up, pulled his lightsaber out, lit only the one half, and poked the charred remains of the TV on the floor. What a shame, it was a good TV, too.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie stretched in the break room. This stuff was so easy. She could get used to this. A little hard on the feet, though. She finished her drink and went back over to the kitchen department to find someone else who needed help.   
  


* * *

  
  
Kiila had a run in with her guide from the day she'd arrived.   
  
"And how are you doing, Kiila?"   
  
"Oh, just fine, considering that when I'd gone diving I was attacked by a giant squid thing. But, no worry, I wasn't hurt badly."   
  
"That is good. Did the company do anything to make up for it?"   
  
"Yes, they are giving me a free dive since I didn't use the first one up. They also want me to teach them some of the stunts I pulled while swimming."   
  
"How much longer are you going to wait for the free dive? I have a day off coming up. I would love to see the tricks you can do, since they seem eager to learn them."   
  
"Actually, I was thinking of taking it soon. I think I'm up to swimming again."   
  
"My free day is in three days."   
  
"How's noon for you?"   
  
"I'll bring my family. I need to get back to the spaceport. See you then!" He drove off.   
  
She marked down noon in her mental book for the dive.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie and Obi were tired out after everyday of work and training respectively. So, since Julie didn't have anyone to talk to in her apartment, she would go to Obi's place every night. They liked being able to talk to each other   
  
Maul was lonely and miserable. Sidious told him to revel in it. Maul told him to go screw Yoda. Sidious did.   
  


* * *

  
  
Qui Gon started screaming at his apprentice.   
  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU STUPID PADAWAN?"   
  
"I'm going to get to get married, what does it look like?" Obi ignored the fact that his master was swearing. He continued with his exercises.   
  
"And why are you doing this?"   
  
"Because I truly love her. I'm busy, leave me in peace for the moment."   
  
Qui Gon decided he would deal with his apprentice later.   
  


* * *

  
  
"Julie? Is that you?"   
  
Julie looked over to see another Wal-Mart employee with the nametag 'Hi! My Name is Laura!' written on it.   
  
"It's me, Julie! Laura Foster! Satan, remember?"   
  
"Mommy!"   
  
"I'm so glad you remembered." Laura swished her brown hair around her ears. Something was strange about her ears.   
  
"Laura, when did you get pointy ears?"   
  
"Oh, I had that done a few years ago. How are you anyway?"   
  
"Oh, I'm good and engaged!"   
  
"Oh, good! Who is it?"   
  
"A Jedi Padawan. He's so sweet, considering his hamster bit me once."   
  
"How cute! Well, I have to go back to the children's toys section. I just love little kids now. Bye!" Laura left the aisle.   
  
Julie realized how strange her life was getting. She realized it was because they hadn't moved for several months. Usually they were kicked out whenever Kiila had the nightmare. It didn't happen this time. She'd ask Obi about it later.   
  


* * *

  
  
Kiila met with the guide and his family right in time. The diving company was more than happy to let them go together, and gave the family a discount.   
  
Kiila was ready before the Mon Calamari, and just as they were coming out, she performed a spectacular running dive off the end of the pier. She did three flips on the pier, launched herself into the air doing a somersault, and came down into the water head first, with very little splash. She let herself go down as low as possible before starting back for the surface. She pushed herself as hard as she could, and burst totally up from the surface, spinning lazily, with her arms outstretched. The company was recording it for her. They were also going to keep a copy for themselves.   
  
Kiila fell back into the water gently, and started the next maneuver. She arched her back and swam downward. The Mon Calamari guards joined her in this. They circled back upwards in a slow lazy circle. When they got to the surface, the guards left her, and she stayed for but a moment, to perform a quick spiral back down. She floated along the bottom, spinning slowly, and shot up to the surface again. The guide and his family joined her in the water.   
  
She kept performing smaller tricks, to the enjoyment of the children, but she didn't go near the one cave, when she started exploring again. The guide pointed to all the caves and shrugged to say, 'Which one?" She pointed. The Mon Calamari set off in a hurry for the cave. She saw why. One of his children had gone in just a second before. She followed, even more hurriedly, since that thing would make just a single bite of the child. She caught up and passed the guide, who sped up more to see her urgency.   
  
She managed to catch the child just before it was snagged by the tentacle. Another tentacle tried for her leg, but the guards had followed just as fast and were shooting at it. She swam quickly out of the cave, followed by the guide. The Mon Calamari mother took the shaking child from her arms, and made gestures to say, 'Thank you."   
  
Kiila went back to exploring the other caves.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie was listening to Obi tell her about all the stuff that usually happens on their floor of the apartment.   
  
"…So her screaming wasn't really as bad as some of the stuff that used to go on around here before you guys came." Obi was massaging her back.   
  
Etc.   
  


* * *

  
  
Maul crashed on his couch and flipped the channels on the TV. He found a news broadcast from the Mon Calamari, about one of the diving companies there. The company had been having a problem with a large squid creature with a name only pronounceable by the Mon Calamari. Maul watched as they showed footage of people who'd had encounters with the jilanaitat. There were five Mon Calamari guards, another male, a child clinging to the male's leg, and Kiila. They had a short clip of her. She was talking about one of two encounters with the creature.   
  
"The first time, the thing just grabbed me, and the last thing I saw before it covered my eyes were the guards coming towards me. I wanted to scream, but I definitely would have drowned."   
  
The broadcast cut back to the main reporter, who wrapped up the story. Maul turned the TV off. He jumped off the couch and ran to Obi's apartment.   
  


* * *

  
  
"What do you want, Maul?" Obi looked at his neighbor as though he was nuts.   
  
Maul told him what he'd seen. Obi nodded and said he'd tell Julie.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie spent her day off looking through wedding catalogs and other similar things.   
  
Obi had no idea she was doing this.   
  
She'd picked out three different dresses she'd liked. She'd found fifteen flower arrangements, thirteen good wedding parlors, and five patterns for invitations, two for reception nametags for tables, and eight for arranging tables at the reception.   
  
She'd found a great club for the reception. Unfortunately, they only arranged the tables in one way, and she didn't like it. Maybe Kiila could convince them to change it. Kii was good at that.   
  


* * *

  
  
Kiila was going around to some of the general novelty stores in the city. There was a specialty water-glassblower. She would go back there later, when she'd thought of something nice for him to create for Julie and Obi.   
  
She walked past a store for renting underwater cameras to capture some of the more spectacular sights underwater. The company she'd used to dive had done that for her. And it was a vid, not still life.   
  
Which reminded her, she wanted to go back there again, even though there was the creature the had taken a liking to her…   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie wandered around the kitchen section of Wal-Mart, her mind not really on the job, but thinking of the stuff she'd picked out that she liked.   
  
She jumped when a customer came up to her.   
  
"Is this can-opener on sale?"   
  
Julie looked at the item, and saw that it was. She told the customer this.   
  
"Thank you."   
  
"Thank you, have a nice day."   
  
Julie went back to absent-mindedly wandering the aisles of her department.   
  


* * *

  
  
Obi was trying to get his master to calm down. It wasn't working. He considered trying to change the subject, tried it, and failed miserably. Particularly since he'd changed the subject to that of Julie's roommate's trouble on Calamari. His master freaked out when he heard about it.   
  
"She actually put herself in danger? How could Julie let her go somewhere like that? Both of them are obviously very irresponsible…"   
  
"Which gives me a good reason to straighten her out!" Obi decided to play along with his master's delusions until he could get Qui Gon to accept it.   
  
It worked, too.   
  


* * *

  
  
Kiila flipped her head to push her hair out of her face. Hands didn't do too well underwater. She was watching the people from the company attack the monster. She swam off to another area when the jilanaitat started to lurch out of the cave. It grabbed one of the guards and started chewing at his leg. She reeled at the sight, and popped her head out of the water. The company was more than glad to let her come back another day to see more. She'd brought good business to them.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie came back home from a particularly hard day at Wal-Mart. She was having trouble focusing on the job, with all the preparations that had to be made and everything. She wondered if she was getting in over her head. She looked at the paycheck in her hand. She wasn't.   
  
She grabbed a nice cold drink, plopped on the couch, and watched TV for a while before going to bed.   
  


* * *

  
  
All across the galaxy, people slept well that night, for those that actually slept. Those that didn't sleep were another matter.   
  


* * *

  
  
Obi discovered that sleep was not a good way to relieve stress. He decided to he would go early today, and find an exercise to ease his mind.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie hurried to Wal-Mart the next day. She wanted to log some extra time, in hopes of getting extra pay. She knew she'd need it.   
  
She almost got her card in the slot, but Yoda stopped her.   
  
"Get extra time you can't."   
  
"Why not?"   
  
"Work full time you don't."   
  
Julie watched the clock on the machine. She clocked in exactly when she was supposed to, and was so mad that Yoda was right.   
  
She got to her appointed position and immediately had to help group of people who were trying to decide which potato skinner was the best one to get.   
  
It would be a long day.   
  


* * *

  
  
Maul lazed around on his couch. He didn't feel like going to the Sith Academy today. If his master had something really important for him, Sidious would come here.   
  
He didn't really care, though.   
  


* * *

  
  
Kiila awoke the next morning, pulled on one of the Mon Calamari dresses she'd bought, and walked to one of the more widely popular restaurants for breakfast. She didn't care if anyone bothered her. No one did recognize her, anyway. She went back to her hotel, and just sat around for the day. She'd do more sight seeing tomorrow.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie hopped out of bed the next day, and looked at her work schedule. It was her day off.   
  
She gleefully made herself breakfast and watched the morning news.   
  
"The jilanaitat that was inhabiting the caves of the diving company on Mon Calamari has been successfully driven to a distant area of the ocean. The company, and the people who first encountered the creature, are eternally grateful to the people who have made this possible. Now for the weather."   
  
It was raining; she could tell that without watching the news. She had a feeling it would rain all day. Obi had told her that he had outdoor exercises to do today, so she figured he'd come home cold and wet. That would mean he'd want a nice hot meal and nice hot bath.   
  
Julie grinned, and started planning the meal. She knew almost exactly what he'd want.   
  
She walked into the kitchen, made herself a gin and tonic, grabbed a couple more bottles of miscellaneous alcohol, snatched her cookbooks, and plopped down on the couch. She had herself plastered by lunchtime; kept herself that way until Obi came, and cooked in her favorite state of mind. None.   
  
Obi liked the idea, plastered himself, and the two woozy people enjoyed the meal and hot bath as much as they could. They really didn't notice everything going on, like drunken Cuddles and Flower sliding into the sink, but they had a good time anyway. 

* * *

  
Maul's day had not gone as well. When he'd got to the Sith Academy, his master had been furious. Sidious had made him do two days work to catch up, and some extra as well. He came home, flopped down on the couch, and fell asleep there. My Apprentice was not happy that he didn't give her dinner.   
  


* * *

  
  
In the deep-sea valley of the Snorks, on the planet Snorkelustoday, Fred the Wonder Dog was having a hard time with the Snorks. The Snork-of-all-Snorks was holding him captive for being too tall.   
  
Fred banged his head on the ceiling. Again.   
  


* * *

  
  
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.   
  


* * *

  
  
Kiila walked down the street to the glassblower's shop. She'd come up with the perfect design for Obi and Julie's wedding gift. She gave the drawing to the glassblower, with the dimensions. He told her it would be done by the time she had to leave. She thanked him, paid, and mentally marked the day it would be done. She left the store with a sense of satisfaction.   
  
They had better like it. It had taken her a whole day to design.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie walked around the kitchen department in a daze. She wasn't feeling too good after the previous night. She had just barely made it into the store this morning, and Yoda had scolded her harshly for it.   
  
She was having trouble remembering what was on sale, which items were where, and where the kitchen section ended and other sections began.   
  
She really shouldn't have had that bottle of champagne all to herself last night.   
  


* * *

  
  
As she walked out of the food store, Julie bought a couple lottery tickets. The jackpot was five billion credits. She figured that if she won, she'd definitely need the money. They were going to live in a house, not an apartment.   
  
She walked home, put away the groceries, and plopped down on the couch to watch TV. She set the tickets in front of her, for when the numbers came on.   
  


* * *

  
  
Obi was exhausted. He didn't bother going to Julie's place tonight. He was too tired tonight. He plopped down on the couch to sleep.   
  


* * *

  
  
Maul was channel surfing. He was too tired to do anything else. He settled in to watch the news. The lottery numbers came on. He sighed and turned the TV off.   
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"   
  
Maul jumped off the couch and tripped over his coffee table. Why was Julie screaming?   
  


* * *

  
  
Obi launched himself out the door and down the hall to Julie's apartment and rang the doorbell just as she slammed out the door into him.   
  
"Julie! What's wrong?"   
  
"I won the lottery!" She waved the tickets in front of his face.   
  
Maul, who had stuck his head out of the door, limped over to her, made a face at her, and limped back into his apartment.   
  
"I wonder what that was about."   
  
"I wonder why he was limping."   
  
They shrugged at each other, and went into Julie's place to celebrate.   
  
§ And you know what that means. §   
  
@ Shut up, Kiila. @   
  


* * *

  
  
Kiila was out shopping. She'd bought a few dresses she thought Julie might like, and some more for herself. She found a T-shirt Obi would like, and something for Maul.   
  
She loved the cool rains, and the open-air shops here. She was thinking about moving here when Julie moved out. She knew where to find a job. The company she'd been diving at was starting to make commercials for the broadcasts, and they thought she might like to be in some of them. She would love it, if she lived there.   
  
She walked over to a jewelry stall, picked out a couple necklaces, and bought them. She decided she'd spend the rest of the day doing this.   
  


* * *

  
  
Julie was looking at better real estate on Coruscant. Since she only had a half-day today, and she was done with that, she had found, through the general information bureau, an agency with beautiful houses.   
  
She knew that she would have to find something that was a good size, because Obi might insist on a few rooms to set up for his, and her, hamsters. She found a few that looked promising, but she wanted to have a certain amount left over when she was done. After all, there was the wedding to pay for and all that.   
  
There was another problem.   
  
All the houses for sale were on other planets. Houses were practically non-existent on Coruscant. She knew that wouldn't work.   
  
Maybe she could find a larger apartment suite…   
  


* * *

  
  
Obi was worried about what Julie might do. He could tell that she'd decided part of the money was for another way of living. He wasn't sure if he wanted to move, but then, Julie probably wouldn't stand for that.   
  
He decided he'd talk to her about it later, and focused on the tasks at hand.   
  
He looked at the wall in front of him. There was a lost technique for passing through walls. He'd researched enough to find part of the requirements for it, but he wasn't sure if he could do it.   
  
His master had told him to make it over the wall, but Obi wanted to try this. If he couldn't get his fingers through, he wouldn't bother, and would levitate himself to the height that was required. It was a test of stamina, because, not only was he only allowed to go at a certain slow speed, but the air would get very thin up there. He would have to be able to pull the atmosphere toward him to make it easily, and that required concentration. Between that, and the long time it would take him, this was a hard exercise.   
  
He focused on getting a finger to go through the wall. He concentrated on getting the atoms in his finger to separate to pass through the miniscule spaces in the wall. He would have preferred trying this with a wall more porous, but he had to make do. Then again, maybe he should wait.   
  
He pushed his finger through the plas-steel of the wall. He pulled it back in surprise, before he stopped the separation and his finger went solid again. 

Obi knew he should wait until he had a thinner surface for it. He decided he would experiment more later on, since it was rather draining. 

He levitated himself upwards at the speed required, and hoped his master had not seen what just happened. 

* * *

Maul looked at the wall in front of him. He was supposed to move it ten meters behind him. 

His master had told him the bricks had to be in the same order from top to bottom. That made it a bit harder. Fortunately, the bricks were rather large, so he would not lose track of which were which. 

He hoped. 

* * *

Julie was just relaxing with a tequila and lemonade when the door opened and Obi walked in. He looked extremely tired, but also very excited. 

"What's up, my dear Padawan fiancé?" 

"The one exercise today. I had to get from one side of the wall to the other. I was supposed to levitate over the top…" 

"Which is what I hope you did." 

"In the end, yes. First, I made an amazing discovery." He picked a magazine off the table, closed his eyes to concentrate, and stuck his hand and forearm through the center of the magazine. 

Julie looked at him in astonishment. He actually passed through the magazine. He walked to the wall, and stuck a finger through the outer layers of paint and plaster. 

He then walked to the couch and flopped down, absolutely exhausted. 

"It could kill me, if I lost my concentration halfway through a wall. Or I could lose my hand, or leg, or just a finger. If there was a way to push the actual atoms of what I was passing through out of the way or just further apart, it might be safer. I'll have to work on it with small stuff first." 

Julie stared at him. She played with his braid. "Don't worry about it right now. Right now, you are going to eat." 

She got up and pulled the dinner she'd prepared out of the oven. They ate, but not in silence, since Obi kept going on about this new skill. Julie shut him up by kissing him. 

* * *

Kiila walked quickly back to the glassblower's shop. She had to pick the sculpture up today. 

She rushed into the shop. The glassblower was just bringing it out of his workshop. She thanked him as he packed it away safely. She carried it away to the waiting car outside. Her guide rushed out of the car to help her carry it. 

They made their way to the spaceport. The guide helped her load her stuff onto one of the luggage trolleys, and a porter helped her get the luggage to the appropriate place. Special care was taken with the water-glass figurine. 

Kiila settled into her seat on the transport, and waited for the lift-off. She'd fall asleep after lift-off. 

* * *

Kiila walked into the apartment, looking around for Julie. When her friend was no where to be found, she put her luggage on the floor, and hid the sculpture in her closet. 

She relaxed on the bed. There was no where for her to be today. She fell asleep right away. 

* * *

Julie walked into the apartment, and immediately knew someone was there. She knew something important was happening today, but couldn't place what it was. She sneaked into the bedroom, and was immediately relieved to see Kiila on her bed sleeping. She felt stupid that she'd forgotten Kii was coming home today. 

She walked into the main room and plopped on the couch to rest until Kiila woke up. 

* * *

Maul looked at his calendar, and jumped out of the kitchen towards the door. He ran to Julie and Kiila's apartment door and slammed his fist into the doorbell. 

Julie answered the door and he burst inside looking around. 

"Where is she? She is back, right?" 

"She's asleep. You'll have to…" 

"Maul, is that you?" Kiila walked blearily out of the bedroom. 

Maul rushed over to her and picked her up. She suddenly had a very surprised look on her face as he carried her out of her apartment. Julie sighed and shut the door behind them. 

* * *

Julie looked at Kiila as she walked back in. 

"Can we all go out and get drunk? I think it sounds fun." She plopped down at the kitchen table after grabbing a bottle of Jack Daniel's. "I really need to do that. I have a headache because of Maul. I don't think I'll talk to him for a while." 

"I think you're gonna stop babbling." Julie picked the bottle out of Kiila's hands and put it on the shelf. Kiila slid on the floor, temporarily unconscious from exhaustion. "See, I was right. Perhaps we will go out tonight. After you wake up of course." Julie dragged Kii into the living room and lifted her onto the couch. She sat down in a chair and turned the TV on. 

She heard the doorbell ring. It was Obi. 

"Hi, don't mind the mess on the couch. She's tired." Julie gestured at Kiila. "She had a great idea. Let's all go out tonight after she wakes up. We can even invite Qui Gon, if you think he'd like to go." 

"Sure, why not? We all need a rest and some fun." Obi sighed as he thought of trying to invite his master. "I'll go invite him and Maul." He left. 

Julie turned back to the TV. 

* * *

"Come on Kii, wake up and put something else on, we're gonna go out." 

Kiila could hear Julie okay, and she assumed that the big peach and red blur in front of her face was Julie, too. "Shup, go way." 

"No, you said we'd all go out and get drunk, so we're going to go. Qui Gon is coming too." 

Kiila felt her body lifted off the couch and shoved into the bathroom, straight into a bathtub full of cold water. The door closed behind her. 

"YOU MISERABLE SOD! COULDN'T YOU JUST LET ME SLEEP?" Kiila grabbed a towel and the blow-drier, and tried to get the tangled mess on her head to dry and straighten out. She heard Julie's voice from outside the door. 

"Need anything?" 

_A large blaster to shoot you with._ "One of my two new dresses I brought back with me, if you would be so kind." Julie opened the door enough to throw the green dress in for her. 

Kiila looked at the dress, grabbed a larger towel, wrapped it around herself, and walked out of the bathroom carrying the dress and into the bedroom. Julie was already dressed and sitting in the living room, oblivious to this. 

Kiila finished getting dressed, and walked out of the bedroom just as the doorbell rang. The three guys piled into the room. Qui Gon stood at the back, wearing black dress slacks, and a tight, white polo shirt. Obi was wearing freshly ironed (she could smell the heat) khakis and a pressed white dress shirt. Maul was in (partially non-wrinkled) leather pants and black dress shirt. Julie was wearing a full-length black satin dress with a slit that went halfway up the middle. 

Kiila managed to duck back into the bedroom without being seen. This was not what she'd thought it would be. Everyone else had dressed up more than her. She ran to her closet, and grabbed a higher level purple dress and changed quickly. She sighed as she inspected herself in the mirror and turned to see Julie coming in. 

"I thought you were going to wear that green dress." 

"It didn't seem right, since you guys dressed up more." Kiila quickly changed the accent pins in her hair from the green to a matching purple. 

"How is it that you are so good with hair, and I'm better with clothes?" Julie fixed the shoulder poufs on the purple dress her friend now wore. 

"Easy. I have more hair than you do, so I need to mess with it more. And besides, you've always loved clothes. Remember when you wanted to be a fashion designer?" They laughed at the memory of a time long past. 

"Yeah, I remember. Now let's go out there and knock them dead." 

"Didn't you do that when you opened the door?" They laughed again and walked out into the room. 

* * *

They walked into Bobby Fisher's Nightclub, the newest nightclub in town. The owner, a deranged maniac who had made a profit by going on talk shows about a pack of cigarettes from Heaven, greeted them. 

"Hi yo! Do you have a reservation?" 

"Yes. Under Qui Gon Jinn." Qui Gon talked to the idiot. 

"Flitter! Come here! Take these persons to the corner table. OVER THERE!" 

"Yes now! I will do that sir! Come with me!" Flitter, a small man with a sore throat, led them off into the corner, away from the lights, but close to the bar. 

The booth was a rounded corner booth with plush seats. Qui Gon sat in the middle of the back, with Julie and Kiila on either side of him, and Obi and Maul on the ends. Qui Gon looked very unhappy. 

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this, Padawan. Tomorrow, you will have extra work to do." 

"But tomorrow's Sunday." 

"Alright, Monday." 

Julie watched both of them as this dialogue went on. She sent Kiila a look that said, 'Help me.' 

"Hello, how (hic) may I (hic) help you all?" The waiter, a senile idiot somewhat resembling Yoda, looked to be somewhat drunk. Kiila began to question the actual quality of this restaurant. 

"Could we have menus and the wine lists first, before we order?" Maul looked a little impatient. 

"Yes, of course, sir. (Hic) I will get them right (hic) away. The wine lists (hic) are very good." The waiter shuffled off, brought the menus and wine lists, did a funny little dance, and passed out. 

Obi peered at the electronic menu/wine list he'd been given. It was blank. 

"What the heck is this, Maul's laundry list?" Qui Gon looked at the blank pad. 

"I resent that." Maul made a face at Qui Gon. 

Another waiter shuffled up, plugged cords into their menus, and uploaded data before dragging the first waiter away. 

They made decisions, selected them on the pads, and a third waiter shuffled up, took their menus, and quickly shuffled to the kitchen. They saw him drop the pads on a counter and trip on his robes before going into the staff room. 

Kiila sighed and figured she'd had a bad idea earlier. 

* * *

The drinks were brought. Obi had ordered Guinness, of course. Julie had ordered Tequila. Qui Gon had a large piná colada. Kiila looked at her bottle of Chianti very happily. Maul looked at the strange beer can in front of him. It was something imported from Naboo. He shrugged and poured it into the glass. It smelled like beer, so it should be okay. 

Kiila sipped at her first glass and watched Maul carefully inspecting the empty can for anything that said poison. She giggled at him a little, and watched Julie practically launch herself into the glass of Tequila. Qui Gon eyed her with distaste and started his drink. Obi calmly drank his Guinness. 

The tension was building over the table. Something had to be done. 

"Hey everyone. What's up?" Mark walked over to them, holding a rum and coke. 

"Hi Mark! What's up?" Kiila was the only one to notice him and say anything. Julie hadn't noticed him, and was well on her way to half her glass of Tequila. 

"Not much, just felt like coming somewhere decent to eat for a change. Well, my waiter's at my table, guess I'd better go back. See you later." He started walking away, but turned around again. "Say hi to Julie when she stops drinking." He left. 

Kiila sighed, and they all watched Julie finish her Tequila. She stopped, and started giggling. "Can I have another?" 

The waiter walked up. "What did you have?" 

"She does not get a tequila. She gets a gin and tonic." Kiila looked at the waiter squarely. He gulped and hurried off to get the drink. 

"You're so mean, Kii. I don't like you anymore." Julie was whining like a little kid. "You know what, I don't like you either Obi. I like him." She snuggled against Qui Gon's side. 

Qui Gon looked shocked. Obi was mad. 

"You're just drunk. You don't really mean that." Qui Gon was pushing Julie away. 

Obi grabbed her waist and pulled her over. She smacked him. 

"I mean it! I changed my mind." She pulled the ring off and threw it at Obi. It hit him on the cheek. He picked it up and looked at it. Then he shoved it in his pocket and turned away as Julie started snuggling against Qui Gon again. Qui Gon looked stricken, and he started drinking his piná colada rather quickly. 

Kiila sighed and looked at her watch. It was going to be a long night. 

* * *

Julie was still against Qui Gon's side when the meal came. Qui Gon had given up struggling and ignored her instead, praying she would come back to her senses tomorrow. Kiila and Maul spoke only to each other, avoiding anything about any of the other occupants of the table completely. Obi stared off to the other side of the restaurant, refusing to hear his master when Qui Gon was trying to apologize. 

The waiter stared at the group. They were hopeless. 

He set their meals around at the appropriate places. Obi had ordered nerf soufflé. Julie ordered mozzarella sticks and eggplant Parmesan. Qui Gon had ordered nerf steak and a baked tuber. Kiila had garlic butter shrimp and onion rings. Maul looked at the chicken and angel hair pasta dish in front of him, smiled, raised his glass, and began eating. 

Obi picked at his meal, but didn't eat much. Julie happily ate hers, and drank the gin and tonic. She also made Qui Gon eat; though if she hadn't, he might not have eaten anything. Maul was rather pleased with his meal, but he watched Obi worriedly. Kiila did the same. 

Kii and Maul exchanged glances. He let her out of the booth, and she sat next to Obi. 

"You have to eat something." 

"Leave me alone." 

"No. Eat, and I will. If you finish it, I'll leave you alone." She stubbornly remained where she was. 

"I'll eat when I get home. I just don't want soufflé anymore." 

"Wrong. You do want soufflé, and you are going to eat here." She gave him the look she'd given the waiter. Obi paled, and started eating. She smiled, and went back to her seat. 

Julie had no idea that this happened, but Qui Gon had watched Kiila convince Obi to eat. He would have to have her tested for midi-chlorians someday. She must be strong with the Force. Or maybe she had some other power. 

"Qui Gon, oh Qui Gon. Would you like to come over to my apartment tonight?" Julie stared up at him. He paled. 

"Maul, can I come over to your place tonight?" Kiila looked at Maul, who nodded, understanding. She leaned over to him and whispered, "I don't want to be around her even if he doesn't go over." He choked on his beer, and she smacked him on the back. "Oops, sorry." He lifted his head off the table and glared at her. 

Kiila was really getting bored with this, and was on her second bottle of Chianti. Maul was on his fourth beer. Obi was still on his first Guinness. Qui Gon had stopped drinking alcohol in hopes of staying sane. They had given up all hope of keeping Julie away from Tequila. She was on her third glass. 

"Julie, you can have more to drink when we get home." Kiila and Maul stood up. Qui Gon quickly dragged himself, and Julie, out of the booth. Obi stood up and started heading out. Qui Gon paid, and reluctantly helped the stumbling Julie into her coat. Maul helped Kiila into her coat, and Obi stood, staring at the windows. Since he was the least drunk, he would drive back. 

They reached the apartment. Obi went straight to the elevators, reaching them and going up in a separate one before the others got there. Kiila looked at Qui Gon with pity, but he was too busy trying to keep Julie standing to notice. Kiila knew Julie had to have drunk something before they left. It was the only explanation. 

Kiila went into her apartment, got her PJ's, and went over to Maul's place. She didn't care where she slept, just as long as it wasn't in the same room as Julie. 

* * *

Julie dragged Qui Gon into the bedroom. 

"Stay with me a while." She reached her hand up the front of his shirt and stroked his chest. 

"No, I have to go." He tried to pull away, but she had a firm grip on his arm. She pulled him closer, so there noses almost touched. 

"Please?" 

* * *

Kiila and Maul looked up when they heard Qui Gon scream. Kiila snuggled against Maul's side again. 

"I hate noisy people. They have no respect for anyone else's sanity." 

Maul wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. "Let's go back to sleep." 

* * *

Obi stared at the ceiling. It served Qui Gon right, that if he first objected to the marriage, he would wind up stuck in the middle of it. He rolled over and looked at Cuddles, who was cowering in the corner of the hamster cage as Flower glared at him. Apparently, Flower had reacted to Julie's drunkenness and sudden change of feeling. Fluffi Wan was absent-mindedly running in his hamster wheel, oblivious of the dealings between the other hamsters. 

He stared at the ceiling again. He wouldn't be able to get Qui Gon back. He figured that he would have to find someone else. 

* * *

Qui Gon reached for his glass when an armadillo leaped through the air and hit his hand. He stared at it, and it glared at him. There was a red collar around its neck with a tag that said Harold. He reached around it for the glass. It tried to stop him, but even half-drunk, he was faster. Julie walked in and curled her body around his. 

"Don't you like me? Aren't I good enough for you?" 

"I prefer men." 

"I changed Obi's mind, didn't I?" 

He bit his tongue and looked at her. "Let me get a little more drunk first." 

She smiled and got him another bottle of Jack Daniel's. 

* * *

_End, now, stop, please, make it stop.___

_Just kidding!_

* * *

Kiila's notes: Wait for chapter 4. We have no idea how long it'll be, but it's coming! Anything that you have heard of from the outside of our imaginary 'world' (e.g.: brands of drinks, etc.) we did not come up with, they are not ours. Don't sue us. We're too weird. 

Julie's notes:   



	4. Chapter 4

Ah, the Glory of the Finale!   
By Kiila the Spellsinger and Julie 

* * *

Kiila walked back into her apartment. She was wary of looking around too much, for fear of what she would see. A male voice singing wafted out of the bathroom, so she relaxed a bit, hoping he wouldn't come out anytime soon. She slipped into the bedroom, noticing that Julie was curled up in a little ball on her bed. Harold looked completely dazed, lying on his back hanging off the nightstand. 

_I don't even want to know._ Then she noticed Havoc was no where to be seen. She opened her closet and the armadillo leapt into her arms. "Poor thing," she whispered. 

With the armadillo perched on her shoulder, she dug through her closet to find an outfit to wear down to the studio. 

"Qui Gon…" Julie moaned in her sleep. Kiila threw some pants and a shirt onto Julie's head. "What?" 

"Get up and take some painkillers. Then get that Jedi to the Academy. He is an important Jedi, isn't he?" Kiila glared down at the shaking pile of clothing and linen. 

Julie growled as Kiila walked out of the room, and subsequently, out of the apartment. 

* * *

Down at the studio, Kiila was stretching, when one of her costars walked up to her. 

"Hey Kiila," Ryan shook his blonde hair lightly. "Did you hear about that big fuss they had at a restaurant yesterday?" 

"No." 

"It was at some place called _Bobby Fisher's Nightclub_." 

Kiila choked. "What time of the night was it?" 

"I don't know, but apparently some group came in and gave one of the waiters some drug, even though they only found traces of alcohol. 'It had to be a drug' they said," He mimicked some miscellaneous businessman. "Then the group seemed to be having problems with each other, and one of the two girls was just about carried out. So they are trying to find out who they really were to get information about the drug." 

"Isn't that interesting?" She said dryly. 

"What's interesting is one of them was reported to have brown hair and a red skunk stripe." He looked at her as she turned to stare at him. 

"We were at the restaurant, but there were absolutely no drugs involved! Julie was drunk! I drank next to nothing, and the only other one who drank a considerable amount was the stupid Jedi that my friend is newly in love with!" 

"Take it easy!" 

"How can I when you're practically interrogating me!" 

"I wasn't," he backed up a few paces. "I was just wondering." 

"Didn't sound like it." She turned away to go to her costume room. 

"Hey!" 

"What?" She whipped around. 

"I was, uh, wondering if you wanted to go to dinner and dancing sometime." 

She gave him a joking disbelief look. "Are you asking me out?" 

"Yeah." 

She gave a slight smirk, and walked up to him. "When were you thinking of?" 

"How's tonight?" 

* * *

"Julie! Where are you? Freak!" Kiila yelled as she dropped her stuff on the couch. 

"What?" She put her head out from the kitchen 

"I'm going out to tonight." She grinned impishly. 

"Me too." 

Kiila ignored that. "Aren't you even going to ask me who?" 

"Maul, right?" 

"No." 

Julie sat down on the couch across from Kiila. "Who then?" 

"One of the other actors from the show…" 

"Who? Oh, wait, I'll guess. Um, the blonde boy, right?" 

"You know me too well." Kiila started stroking Havoc, who had made it into her lap by now. 

"I know," Julie said in a fake prissy voice. "But then, we have lived through the whole galaxy in a few years, so you got to know who you're with." 

"Sure, whatever." 

* * *

Maul was shocked at what he had just heard. Kiila was going to go out with some one else. How was she able to do that when…? 

"MAUL! OPEN THE DOOR!" Sidious yelled. 

The door opened only by subconscious mental command, as Maul had still not registered the sound of his master. 

"Maul! What are you doing?" 

"She's, dumping me." 

"What are you talking about?" Sidious caused his apprentice to fly backwards into the couch. 

"Kiila, is going, out, with, some one, else." 

"Look at me! If you are that upset, which you shouldn't be, go over there and mind whammy her into NOT going out with this person." Sidious plopped down on the couch to wait for his apprentice to come around. 

"Yeah." He bolted out the door to go 'talk' to Kiila. He fidgeted for a minute after he rang the doorbell. When Kiila opened the door, he pulled her out into the hall. "I heard what you said. You will not go out with him." On the last sentence, he put all his power into a mind whammy. 

"It isn't a good idea. You aren't exactly human." She looked at him very sternly. "Since you aren't human, we can't exactly make a commitment, if you know what I mean." 

He looked at the floor, then at the open door to his apartment. "I wouldn't be able to anyway, since I'm a Sith and 'Sith do not make commitments, except to being a Sith.'" He grimaced. "From a real Sith to an actress who plays one, don't become one." 

She laughed. "Friends?" 

He growled, but then smiled and turned back into his apartment. 

"The Force is strong with her, I believe." Sidious turned away from the door. "Not the type for a Sith, though." 

* * *

Fred the Wonder Dog had finally exceeded the limit for tallness, so someone threw him into the ocean. However, his head and shoulders still stuck out from above the water from the Marianas Trench. 

* * *

Later that evening, Kiila had slid into a deep purple sleeveless dress that came to just above her knees. A lighter shade scarf draped around her shoulders covered her from the wind. Her hair was pulled up into a high ponytail, and then braided down in many small braids. She stepped out of the bedroom, and twirled around for Julie to approve. 

"Where in the galaxy are you going with him anyway?" Julie eyed her friend critically. 

"One of the classiest restaurants in this section of the city, Twain's Interplanetary Delicacies." 

The doorbell rang, and Kiila ran up, pushed a small piece of hair out of her face, and opened the door. 

Ryan stood there in a black suit. "Are you ready?" He said as he offered her his arm. 

She took it and shut the door behind her. She could hear faint gagging noises behind her as Julie walked slowly into the bedroom. 

Julie packed her PJ's and an extra change of clothes into a bag, along with some soap and bath oils. She was going to Qui Gon's place, and she was going prepared. 

* * *

Twain's Interplanetary Delicacies was an extremely extravagant restaurant. Tapestries of the landscapes of various other planets hung over all the walls with small plaques next to them with the name of the planet. Ryan and Kiila were seated in front of one that was mostly white with a black sky and stars. The plaque read Hoth. They were seated very close to the large dance floor, too. 

The waiter came up them with hard copy menus, instead of computerized ones. There were some exotic dishes from places like Corellia. He left while the two patrons tried to decide. 

"I suggest the broiled dialiscav with sautéed jillarion. I've had that elsewhere and it has been excellent." Ryan pointed to one of the menu items. 

"What are those? I haven't heard of them, though Julie's probably classified them." 

"I don't know, but they're sure tasty. I think I'm going to have it." 

"I think I will to, because I've never heard of any of this other stuff either. I'll just take your word for it." She looked further back in the menu at the wine list. Now there were some things she recognized. There was some special Corellian wine she'd had once and thought it was excellent, but then was told that the year displayed in the menu was a better year. When the waiter came back, they ordered their meals and the wine. 

Ryan stood up. "Care to dance?" 

* * *

Maul opened the door with the Force when the doorbell rang. It was Obi. 

"Maul, I'm depressed." 

"Embrace it. Then you'll feel the way I do." 

"I thought Sith only felt anger." 

"Shut up." Maul blasted six frogs at once on Frogger: Dementia Strikes. "I'm making an exception." 

"I see. Is that why you keep killing the good frogs?" 

"So that's why my score keeps going down." He shut the game off. "So, wanna play strip poker?" 

* * *

Julie squealed as Qui Gon tickled her bare waist. She ran her finger around his navel. 

* * *

A herd of kangaroos began singing, "Tie me kangaroo down, sport, tie me kangaroo down…" 

* * *

Ryan escorted Kiila back to her apartment. "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at practice." 

"Julie won't be home for a while, like until tomorrow. Would you like to stay and talk?" Kiila unlocked the door. 

"No, I have to get back. I need to feed my pets." Ryan stepped back and gave her one last look over. 

Kiila paused when she noticed him doing this. "What, did I spill something?" 

"No. Don't worry about it." He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss, then dodged into the just opened elevator door. He threw her a mock salute as he pressed the button for the ground floor. 

She lightly rubbed her cheek where he'd kissed her, and went inside her apartment. She changed out of her dress into her PJ's, poured some milk, and sat down on the couch to ponder what had just occurred. 

* * *

Bobby Fisher was making quite a profit on his nightclub, now that people had heard his waiters boozed as much as the patrons. 

* * *

Maul, after kicking Obi out of his apartment the next day, decided life was going back to normal, and he really needed to mess his apartment up again. 

He began this task of returning to his previous squalor when music came bursting out of the next apartment. The calmness and sweetness of it almost disgusted him, when he heard Kiila singing. 

He almost lost track of his Sith behavior when he caught a grip on reality, ran to the bathroom and grabbed some earplugs, and returned to the task of dumping chips on the floor. 

* * *

Julie returned from Qui Gon's house later that day, to find Kiila dancing in her usual gymnastic manner (not the way music videos do) to the music that grated the most on Julie's ears. 

She ran to the stereo and shut it off, quickly replacing the recording with one that was more pleasing to her, but not quite the kind that Kiila would begin screaming at. 

"You're so mean. I wasn't expecting you back until next week." Kiila stretched her leg out above her head one last time before walking to the kitchen for a snack. 

"Ha-ha, very funny, Kiila." Julie walked into the bedroom, unpacked her dirty clothes into the laundry basket, hid the other stuff she had, and tucked the bag under her bed. 

"By the way, it's your turn to do laundry." 

Julie grunted as she flopped down onto the couch. There was the faint sound of a whine coming from next door, sounding vaguely like "Ow, my ears." 

Kiila walked out onto the balcony, just in time to see Maul bring out two of the potted plants she'd made him buy. He didn't see her, but he gave the plants funny looks and was about to throw them over, when he seemed to have another thought. He took them back inside and shut the door. 

Kiila shrugged and headed back inside. "So why aren't you still at Qui Gon's place?" 

Julie mumbled something about an important meeting. 

"Oh, really. So what's this meeting for? Oh, I know. He's meeting with another woman who has learned to sigh in the same way you have." Kiila struck a dramatic pose leaning backwards over the couch, and mimicked Julie, "Oh, Qui Gon." 

Julie smashed a pillow into Kiila's face. The pillow was immediately back in Julie's face as Kiila pinned her down. "You really need to learn how to fight, you know that?" 

Julie growled as Kiila let her up again. The pillow was discarded onto Julie's feet and Kiila left the apartment. 

* * *

Ryan tapped his foot slightly, as his Jedi character was supposed to be waiting for another character in the show. From the darkened corridor behind him, a shadow slinked toward him. Just as it was about to pull a blaster, he spun to catch its hands and pin it against the wall. 

"Why the attack?" He asked the cloaked figure. 

"I thought it would make it easier." A slight snarl emitted from the figure's lips as he pushed the hood of the cloak back to reveal Kiila. 

He released his grip. "I was not going to attack you." 

"I know. Did you bring it?" 

"Yes." He reached into his cloak and pulled forth a hydrospanner. She grabbed it with excitement. 

"The final piece I need!" She tucked it into her cloak, and started to leave, when he wrapped his arms around her. 

"Please, why must you resist! Why can't you just come with me?" 

"I am a Sith. I have no reason to come with you and your little Jedi friends." She spat the last words like they were poison she was ridding herself of. "I _like_ being a bad girl, and I think I'll stay that way. Now if you'd just let me go…" 

"I think not." He held her tighter and started to head back to the Jedi encampment. 

She twisted around in his arms and clubbed him on the head. 

* * *

As Julie paced around the house, she noticed something was wrong. Harold had been acting strangely, and she felt something was missing. The doorbell rang. It was Obi. 

He was carrying a hamster tank set up very nicely for one hamster. And inside of it was Flower. 

"Where would you like her? She's started to get kind of, vicious." 

She pointed to an empty table. He set it down and got out as quickly as possible. 

Now Julie felt better. Much better. 

* * *

It was now several months since the two girls had moved into the apartment, and Kiila had a feeling that even now, something was wrong. She went out onto the balcony, and noticed that the paint was scuffed. It looked like it had been that way for a while. She turned back to the apartment. 

"Julie! There are some spots on the balcony that need repainted! Can you do it sometime soon?" 

"Yeah, sure, don't worry. Qui Gon and I will do it later." 

"Ok, just don't scuff it up more than it is now." Kii walked back inside and put on some clean Capri pants and a lime green tank top. She grabbed her wallet and stuffed it in her pocket. "I'm going shopping, and I'll see you later." 

"Buy a large chicken for roasting, okay?" 

"Sure. See you!" 

Kiila walked down to the shopping malls. She picked the smallest one, with the least hovercrafts. She walked into The Most Casual Store and turned left. She headed straight toward the rack of… 

"Kiila!" 

She whipped around to come face to face with Julie. "Um, hi, J." 

"Did you really think I would let you go clothes shopping alone?" Julie grabbed her friend's arm and pulled her out of the store. "We are going some where better than that. You need some nice new dresses for going out with that blonde boy." 

"His name is Ryan!" 

"His name is that blonde boy. Now shut up!" Julie pulled Kii into Bebe. 

* * *

Qui Gon left his meeting as quickly as he could and hurried over to Julie's apartment. He rang the doorbell, but no one answered. So he went over to Maul's apartment. When he rang the doorbell, Obi answered, wearing only boxers. 

Qui Gon moaned. "Oh no." 

"Hi Master. What's new?" Obi scratched himself. 

"Um, those are new boxers, aren't they?" 

"Oh, these? They're Maul's." Obi picked at his braid. "They're kind of itchy, and a little small." 

"Uh…" Qui Gon racked his head for something to say. 

"Well, if you haven't got anything important to say, I have to go. Maul's teaching me how to cook." Obi shut the door. 

Suddenly the elevator opened behind him and Julie and Kiila stepped out into the hallway. 

"QUIGEE!!!" Julie leapt into his arms after dumping some bags onto Kiila the walking mound of bags. 

Kiila struggled past the make-out scene in the hallway, and, to her amazement, got the door open. She took the bags into the bedroom and dumped them onto her bed. She took the five bags of food into the kitchen and started to unload them when she heard Qui talking to Julie in the living room. 

"I have something for you, Julie." 

Kiila peeked out into the living room and saw Qui lift something out of his back pocket with the Force. It floated around to the front and opened up. Qui knelt down on the floor. 

"Julie Quendlyn, will you marry me?" 

Julie's eyes misted up with tears as she took the ring out of its case and slipped it on her finger. "Yes," she whispered. The ring was a silvery metal, Kiila couldn't tell what from the kitchen, with a fair-sized gem from Gallinore set in it. 

_One thing he's not is cheap. There's hope for Julie yet._ Kiila knew that the rainbow gem was extremely expensive, so Qui Gon must have gone to great lengths to find one. She wanted to yell with joy about Julie finally finding a good person (not to mention well off) to settle down with. Instead, she retained her composure and finished unpacking the groceries. 

She heard shuffling noises out in the main room, and the apartment door opened and closed. A few moments later she heard Julie start to giggle, then scream in joy. 

"I'M GONNA GET MARRIED TO A JEDI MASTER!" Julie ran into the kitchen and hugged Kiila. 

Kiila had a stricken look on her face, and she began to smack her friend lightly to get her to let go. "CALM DOWN! Now, for the important stuff; let me see that ring closely. I have to see how cheap he isn't." 

The ring definitely was real. The Gallinore gem was real, and a very good example of its kind. There were smaller diamonds set around the main jewel. And the silvery metal was definitely expensive, though she couldn't quite tell what it was. It looked like platinum. 

"I'm so proud of you, Julie. You finally found a man who can support you forever." Kiila turned away from Julie and rolled her eyes. She finished unpacking the groceries. 

"Kiila, did you hang up your dresses yet?" 

"No, why?" 

Julie waved her arms around in frustration and went into the bedroom to hang up Kiila's new dresses so they wouldn't wrinkle. 

When they were finished with their respective tasks, they plopped down on separate couches in front of the TV to see what was on that day. 

"_It's time for Those Mystery Security Cameras! Where we go into apartment building security systems to show you what people do on their day off!_" 

The shot on the screen shifted to a picture of their apartment building. 

"_Today we are going to visit the forty second floor of this lovely building and see what these people are up to today._" 

Now they could see themselves, from the back, as they watched TV. Kiila and Julie stood up. 

"Hey, you know what?" 

"What?" 

"I have a really nice ass." 

"Me too." 

Julie ran to where the camera was and screamed, "I'M GETTING MARRIED!" 

The announcer came back on. "_That was a little disturbing. We've never tuned into someone who had tuned into us!_" Fake laughs. "_Now let's tune into the apartment next door._" 

Kiila and Julie looked at each other in fear. Obi was at Maul's place. They ran for the phone. 

The picture on the TV showed the living room in Maul's place, a total mess. Then the bedroom, and the bathroom, and still no sign of them. Then the kitchen, and Julie shrieked. They caught enough of the picture to tell that the two men were both naked and cooking, and then the network cut off the live show with an apology message. 

The two girls looked at each other and burst out laughing. 

* * *

Julie was digging through her closet for all the bridal magazines she'd bought while dating Obi. 

Kiila was making dinner. 

Nothing else that was less than X rated and happening was worth mentioning. 

* * *

Bobby Fisher was forced to close down his nightclub because it was too much of a drain on the economy of the planet. 

* * *

Julie danced out into the hall one sunny afternoon in her pajamas. 

Darth Maul watched her from his peephole. 

Obi walked into the hall and belched. Julie slapped him. 

"Ow! That hurt! Why are you wearing brass knuckles?" 

"They aren't brass knuckles! It's my engagement ring." Julie tripped the light fandango. 

"So which pimp is it now?" 

"It's not a pimp!" She slapped the other side of his face with her other hand. "It's your master. And I'm going to tell him you said that!" She kicked him in the nether region and went back into her apartment. 

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" 

* * *

Julie peered in at Flower. "Something's wrong with Flower. She's getting bigger…" 

Kiila came over. "What do you mean?" Then she looked closer. "Your hamster is pregnant." 

"What? How would that happen?" Julie stood up and banged her head off a shelf. "Oh wait…" She stormed out, went to Obi's apartment, and knocked. No one answered. Then she knocked on Maul's door, screamed, "Put some pants on!" and waited. 

"What do you want?" Obi asked as he opened the door. 

"Your hamster made my hamster pregnant! It's all your fault!" 

"Is that all?" He slammed the door. 

"You call yourself a hamster keeper? GET OUT HERE AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE ACTIONS OF YOUR HAMSTER!" 

Julie pouted for a moment in front of the door. Then an arm reached out of her apartment waving a bottle of whiskey around. She followed the Bottle into her apartment and was hit by a tranquilizer. 

"She should forget about this by the time she wakes up." Kiila pulled her friend into the bedroom and dropped her onto her bed. Then she grabbed one of her new dresses, and started for the bathroom. She stopped and grabbed some stationary, writing down that fact that she was going out with Ryan tonight. Then she changed and finished putting her hair up just as the bell rang. She ran to the door, composed herself, and answered. 

It was Qui Gon. 

"I'm sorry, were you expecting someone else?" Qui Gon politely bowed. 

"Yes, I was waiting for my date. By the way, Julie's out cold right now. I had to tranq her, she's mad because Flower's pregnant." Kiila pointed to the hamster cage. Then she had a thought. "You know, Julie would probably like some company when she wakes up, and maybe remind her that the paint on the balcony needs patched up, if you know what I mean…" She let that trail off implying that she may not be coming straight home tonight. 

"How long will she be out?" 

"An hour, maybe. I don't use strong ones, just enough to put her out for a little while." 

She looked out into the hall and saw that the elevator was just arriving. 

"Hey, see you tomorrow! Say good morning to Julie for me, but tell her it was whiskey, not a tranq. And don't let her at the whiskey, 'cause it does the same thing." 

She closed the door, and stepped out to greet the elevator. 

She slammed right into Ryan, and was only stopped from falling by the fact that he caught her. 

"Hey, are you okay? I didn't think you'd start walking before you turned this way." He straightened her up and let go of her shoulders. 

"I didn't think the elevator had opened so we're even." She straightened herself out a little and noticed the other elevator coming up. Then she saw that Ryan was only standing on one foot, using the other to hold the elevator open. She sighed and said, "Hold it open from inside the elevator! You look silly doing that in dress pants!" 

She heard a slight snigger from behind her. 

"You ready?" He had stepped back inside the elevator. 

"Just a second." She reached into her purse and pulled out a small roll of duct tape. She ripped a small piece off and covered the peephole of Maul's apartment door. 

When she turned back, she came face to face with Darth Sidious. 

"Good evening, young lady." 

"Good evening, sir. If I were you I wouldn't go in there." 

He looked at her with a puzzled expression and she pointed towards Obi's apartment, then at Maul's door, and shook her head. 

He nodded and prepared to get very angry with his apprentice. 

Kiila ducked into the elevator, and it closed and made no stops on the way down. 

* * *

Julie woke up and peered around her. She didn't hear Kiila moving around, but there was someone else in the apartment. It couldn't be Kii, because she'd be moving around. Whoever it was had the TV on and was watching it, and Julie knew there was nothing on tonight that Kiila could stand watching. She peered out into the main room, and leapt, overjoyed, onto the occupier of the couch, and then found herself regretting the sudden motion. 

"Qui Gon! When did you get here? And what happened to me?" Julie held her head carefully as Qui Gon put his arms around her waist. 

"Kiila said that I was to tell you that you'd had whiskey, but Jedi can't lie, a fact she forgot while playing a Sith. She said she actually used a tranquilizer." He buried his nose in her hair. 

She giggled, then noticed something else. "I'm hungry, I think." 

"I should hope that you know if you're hungry or not. Good thing I made that stew…" He stood up, and she leaned forward clutching her stomach. "Are you alright?" 

"It's not hungry." Julie got up, staggered to the bathroom, and got there in time to let the contents of her stomach into the toilet. 

Qui Gon started walking over, then stopped, and looked in the hamster cage. "Flower is pregnant, isn't she?" He heard an affirmative noise from the bathroom, then heard more retching sounds. He got to the bathroom, and looked in at the paler than usual Julie. "Do you think that you might be pregnant, too?" 

She looked at him, and replied in one word. "Obi." 

* * *

Musical Interlude provided by Kiila's Insanity Shop; "You want it, we probably have it, just don't get lost looking for it." 

**Gackt:** _If I had the dreams to do it, I'd fly away…_   
**Kiila:** _If I had the means to find it, I'd find happiness…_   
**Gackt:** _If this world had something, it would have peace…_   
**Kiila:** _If a life meant something, it would mean virtue…_

**Both:** _If anything was something, there could be pleasure…_   
_ If life could live, there'd be peace of mind…_

_How is it so that there are no reasons?_   
_ How is it so no one dreams?_   
_ Why do people feel they have confidence_   
_ When they have nothing at all?_   
**Gackt:**_ How do they find their way?_   
**Kiila:**_ How do they define today?_   
**Both:**_ How does one define anything?_   
_ How do you define what does not exist?_

* * *

@ What the heck was that anyway, Kii? @ 

§ Shush. § 

* * *

Dinner was a disaster. First the waiter spilled water onto Ryan, and then he splattered both of them with the soup. After that, a new waiter had to serve them, while they could hear the old one getting yelled at by the manager. Kiila could have sworn she'd seen the first waiter somewhere else. Their food was burnt, and now the staff was arguing, trying to decide if Ryan's credit card was valid, which he knew it was because he'd just used it that day and proved it. 

Now, after all of this, Kiila realized letting Qui Gon into the apartment probably hadn't been a good idea. She was tired, and so was Ryan, and they both wanted to go to separate apartments and rest. With Qui Gon and Julie in there, she couldn't go. And she explained this to Ryan. 

"I'm not sure what to say," he whispered to her while the manager yelled something at an alien waiter. 

"Is there anyway that I could come to your place and sleep on a couch?" Kiila looked at him with pleading eyes. 

"Problem. No couch." 

"Chair?" 

He shook his head. 

"Spare room?" 

"I'm sorry, I don't even have an actual bed. The majority of my pay from shows is going to pay debts on education. What I use to pay for meals is several years savings." 

Kiila looked at him in shock. She'd had no idea that he was trying to pay off heavy debts. "Well, I'll pay for dinner then." 

"No that's…" He tried to stop her but she'd already gotten the waiter and given him her card. He slumped in defeat. It wasn't right for the woman to pay for meals, but obviously, Kiila was far too determined to let him pay. 

His card was returned to him, and hers was run through the machine with no questions. She signed for it, and he sighed. 

Kiila glanced around the room. She saw the first waiter again, studied his face, and made a mental note of it so she could identify him. Then she stood. 

"Let's go." 

He followed her out of the restaurant, looking a little more depressed than he should have been. She didn't notice; her mind on other things now. 

"Um, Kiila. Where are you planning to go tonight?" Kiila turned to face Ryan, who was trying to look like he was digging around in his pockets for his keys. 

"Take me back to my building." She turned back to face the parking lot. "I'm sure I can make arrangements." 

He had no idea what she was planning, but he figured if anyone would succeed at it, it would be Kiila. 

* * *

The elevator let her off at her floor with no stops. She unlocked the door, and called in as she opened it, "I'm home, find a blanket or something to be decent!" 

As she looked around, she perked her ears a little. The shower was running, and there was feminine giggling and masculine, umm, noises coming from the bathroom. 

She went into the bedroom, grabbed her PJ's and some clean clothes, and looked around for a box. It was a box she hadn't opened for a long time, and she dragged it out of the apartment, locking the door behind her. Then she knocked on Maul's door. 

Maul cracked the door open. "What do you want?" 

"Is Obi there? Ask him if I can use his apartment for tonight." 

The door closed for a few minutes, then reopened, and Maul handed her Obi's keys. 

"Have fun, boys," Kiila laughed. Maul grimaced and shut the door. 

Kiila entered Obi's apartment. It was very neat. She got into her PJ's, and borrowing a hanger and some closet space, hung her dress up. She tossed tomorrow's clothes on a chair and laid the box on the bed. She sat in front of it and opened it, carefully, as though she wasn't sure she'd like what she'd find… 

_ The music flowed around her as her sister played the song on her computer. Kiila had never heard a style and voice quite the same._

_ "Who are they, onee-chan?"___

_ "Malice Mizer."___

_ "Who's the singer?"___

_ "Camui Gackt."_

Kiila slowly lifted out the magazines, the albums, and the random pictures. They were all in there. She looked at the face very closely; it was one she knew she'd never forget. The CD player was plugged in and the music filled her again, as she was swept away in memory… 

* * *

Kiila sighed as she turned off the CD player. It was seven in the morning. She put everything back in the box, carefully, and changed into her clothes. 

The doorbell rang. 

"It's kind of funny ringing a bell to get let into your own apartment." Obi seemed lighthearted. "Do you want breakfast?" 

"Mm, food." Kiila was extremely tired even though she had rested all night, it wasn't like sleep. 

Obi poured Kiila some cereal and milk and sat her down at the table. Then he pulled her dress out of his closet, folded it, and her PJ's, very carefully, and set them on the box. He got his own breakfast, and sat across from her. 

"How do you feel?" 

"With my hand." She ate very slowly. 

He reached across the table and put his hand on her forehead. She slumped into it. 

"How did it go last night?" 

"I'm gonna dump him." 

"Why?" 

"He's not exactly independent yet. He's still paying off debts. He's also too traditional. 'Man must pay for dinner' and all that." She passed out from exhaustion and fell off her chair. 

Obi lifted her off the floor and put her on the couch. He sat in the chair next to the couch and turned the weather reports on low, so he wouldn't disturb her. 

"Partly cloudy with a high chance of rain, probably thunderstorms…" 

* * *

Maul sagged in his chair. Thunderstorms, not good for a hangover. Why hadn't he watched the weather yesterday? 

A knock came at the door. It was Obi. 

"Could you give me a hand with something?" 

The two of them went back into Obi's apartment. Obi pointed at the box with clothes lying on top of it. Maul picked it up. Then Obi went to the couch and picked up an unconscious Kiila. Then he walked out the door over to Kiila and Julie's apartment. Maul brought the box. 

* * *

The doorbell rang again, and a voice shouted, "I'm getting tired of carrying her!" 

Julie stumbled out of the bedroom after throwing on a robe and answered the door. 

Obi was standing in the hall holding Kiila, who was asleep, and Maul was behind carrying a pile of clothes on top of a box. A box Julie hadn't seen for a long time, and hoped she'd never see again. 

Then it hit her. 

"What did you do to Kiila?" She accused them. 

"Nothing. She was dead tired when I went into my apartment this morning, and she passed out while eating her breakfast!" Obi looked frightened. 

"And why was she in your apartment?" Julie remained calm. 

"Last night she came to my apartment to ask Obi if she could use his for the night, and he let her." Maul shifted the box around. 

"Alright. I won't kill you for that." She took a deep breath. "BUT, I am going to kill you because I'm pregnant with your baby!" She glared at Obi, who attempted to duck past her to put Kiila down somewhere. 

He ran into Qui Gon. "Hi, Master…" 

"Good Morning, Padawan." Qui Gon lifted Kiila out of Obi's arms and moved her to the couch with the Force. 

Maul slid the box into the apartment and ran into his to hide. 

* * *

Kiila woke up with a splitting headache. She looked around groggily and saw Obi sitting at her feet looking very sheepish and confused. Qui Gon and Julie were on the other couch and were extremely angry for some odd reason. 

Kii pulled herself over the back of the couch and slithered to the bathroom. No one noticed. 

"How could you do such a thing?" Qui Gon was almost yelling. 

"Shut up," Kiila groaned in the bathroom. 

"I had no idea…" Obi stammered. 

"You were improper in allowing this to happen! Irresponsible…" Qui Gon was cut off by Julie. 

"You pervert!" Julie screamed. 

Kiila took some painkillers and drank a large glass of water in the silence. She staggered back out of the bathroom. "What the @#$&% is going on?" 

"I'm pregnant with Obi's baby!" Julie jumped off the couch and started crying. 

"How do you know it's his? You've been with Qui Gon for like, three weeks. And what tells you you're pregnant?" 

"Well, Flower is, like you said, and if I'm bonded with her…" Julie scuffed her toe in the carpet. 

"So?" 

"And I was puking for a while last night." 

"You do that a lot after whiskey." Kiila smacked the wall in frustration. Her headache would have no rest. 

"Quigee said you used a tranq…" 

"Well, you do it after I tranq you, too!" She took the box into her bedroom, hung her dress up, stuffed her PJ's under her pillow, and pulled a single picture from the box. She flopped onto her bed and held the picture to her heart. "We meet again, Camui Gackt."   
  
Julie walked up to Kiila and put her hand on Kiila forehead. "Have you been drinking?" 

"No." Kiila pushed Julie's hand away. "I'm breaking up with Ryan." 

"Good. He was a puppy dog type anyway." Julie plopped onto her bed. "So who'd you find?" Then it hit her. "He's here? That's why you got that box out, isn't it?" 

"He was our first waiter at the restaurant last night. He poured water on Ryan, and soup on both of us. He was helping me remember him. I'll bet he also got the cook to burn our food, and convinced the manager that Ryan's card wasn't valid." 

Qui Gon and Obi were peering in the door when Kiila looked over. 

"Unless one of you knows how to get rid of a killer headache, get out of here. I need to have a little talk with Julie. Alone." 

Seeing the glint in her eyes, Obi said to his master, "Race you," and ran for the door. Qui Gon politely bowed and followed with great haste. A few seconds later, he was back, with a bouquet of black roses in his hands. "They were at the door." He handed them to Kiila and ran. Kiila held the bouquet close and sighed. 

* * *

"I'm, not pregnant." Julie stared at the test in near disbelief. 

"Why didn't you go out and buy the tests in the first place before you caused all this fuss?" Kiila threw the box of pregnancy tests at Julie. 

"Because, well…" 

"You are a pain!" Kiila stalked out of the apartment. "I'm going to the hardware store." 

"Why?" 

"I'll find something! I don't know what yet, but something I need!" She slammed the door. Two seconds later the doorbell rang, and Julie opened the door for Kiila. Kii got her wallet and keys. As she stuffed them in her pockets, she said, "Call Qui Gon and tell him. Then call Obi and apologize!" Kiila left again. 

Julie sat on the couch and began to swear. 

* * *

Kiila bought a crimping tool at the hardware store. Now she needed something to do with it. 

As she walked the aisles of the craft store, looking for something that could be manipulated with the tool. She'd managed to force her way past the bead aisle without entering it. Now she looked at bags of safety pins, and something clicked. She picked up several bags of various sizes and ran back to the bead aisle. 

* * *

Kiila was strolling down the street feeling pretty good, when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She whipped around, and found herself staring at Gackt. 

"Hey. I've been looking for you." He took her arm and turned her around so they kept heading towards Kiila's building. 

"It's, umm, been a while, hasn't it?" She wasn't sure what to say to him. 

"Would you like something to drink?" He motioned towards the café they were near. She nodded and he gently pulled her in the door. "I take it you got the bouquet…" 

* * *

Julie sulked on the couch and watched the clock. Kii should have been home by now. It had been three hours, and Julie didn't believe it was possible for Kiila to spend three hours in a hardware store without finding _something_. Maybe she had to go to other places. 

She was about to put on her coat and go look for Kii, when the girl in question waltzed in the door, singing some old, old song. 

"_I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love with a wonderful man!_" She dropped two bags and tried to get Julie to dance with her. Julie smacked her. Kiila smacked her back and danced into the bedroom. "He found me!"   
  
Julie sat down and began swearing, again. Then she sighed and said, "I'm never going to hear the end of this, am I?" 

"You will when you move out after marrying Qui Gon. And then I'm going out tomorrow, with Gackt, of course. I'm breaking up with Ryan tonight." 

"How can you keep doing this to me? I can never keep track of your boyfriends! You are worse than me!" Julie screamed in frustration. 

"I learned from the best!" Kiila stuck her head back in the main room. "AKA: you!" 

"I hate you!" Julie picked up the bags. "Now what did you buy?" 

* * *

Maul sighed. Kiila had a new boyfriend, and was trashing the one she'd left him for. He was getting closer to the bottom rung on her list. 

Well, there was always Obi… 

His mind drifted away from his game, and My Apprentice clawed his face and brought him back just in time to be killed by a prissy looking Jedi on his game. He swore and restarted. 

* * *

"Marry her you can't." Yoda stared straight into Qui Gon. "Training apprentice you are." 

"I don't see why that is a problem." Qui Gon didn't flinch. 

"Having a wife, particularly that girl, would be a great distraction to yourself and your apprentice." Mace Windu leaned back in his chair. "It's not permissible to purposely add a distraction to your sacred task of training Obi Wan Kenobi." 

One of the other council members spoke. "We also have a task for you, Qui Gon Jinn." 

"Yes. You and Obi Wan must travel to Naboo, a planet being barricaded by the Trade Federation. The two of you must negotiate a treaty with the leader of the ships there that will either force them to leave the planet alone, or allow supplies to come in and out of the planet's surface." Mace leaned forward again. "We have reason to believe that there is an outside influence on the Trade Federation for their actions, which is why the Chancellor decided two Jedi should be sent instead of normal ambassadors." 

"When am I required to leave?" Qui Gon shifted his weight to his toes. 

"One week, you have. Then leave you must." Yoda held out a disk. "More information, you will find. Tell Padawan all, you mustn't. Tell friends, you also mustn't." 

"You are dismissed." Mace looked away with seeming disinterest. 

Qui Gon left with the disk. 

When he returned to his house, he popped the disk in a terminal, and scanned the information. Then he had a plan, and he called Julie. 

* * *

"So you'll come over tomorrow and tell me this great idea?" Julie tried hard to focus on the phone and the beading that she was doing. "Ok, I'll see you tomorrow then. Yes, I love you. Bye-bye." 

The two women had clear everything except the tablecloth off the dining room table and had spread what Kiila had bought all over it. They were loading beads onto the safety pins and crimping them shut. Each of them had a different pattern they were using to make their necklaces different, and Julie was complaining that her fingers hurt. 

"Take a break if you want." 

"But if I stop, I won't be able to force myself to start again. Ever." 

"Don't worry, I'll force you to start again." 

"Thanks," Julie said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. 

Kiila stood up, got a bowl of ice from the kitchen, and put it in front of Julie. "Stick your fingers in there for a while, and think of what sort of ending design you want. It's either a full circle like this," Kiila held up a necklace, "or a half circle thing like this," she held up a different necklace. 

Julie stuck her hands in the ice, and tried to think of the necklace, but her mind was on what her darling Quigee had told her. He had to leave, and the council wasn't going to let him marry her, but he had an idea. He didn't tell her anything, for fear that one of the phone lines was tapped, but he would come tomorrow night while Kiila was out and tell her. 

She grimaced at the biting cold of the ice and looked at the two necklaces Kiila laid out. The whole circle looked cooler. She said so to Kiila. 

"That's what I've always thought, too. But since you're making a whole circle one, I'll make a half." 

"How heavy are these gonna be?" 

"Not excessively. The whole circle is heavier, but I'm using heavier beads than you are, so they'll probably be the same." 

Julie pulled her hands out of the ice, wiped them on her shirt, and started putting the beads on the pins again. "I think I'll let you crimp them. You're hands are stronger than mine. That's why it hurt." 

"You complain too much." 

* * *

When Gackt came to the apartment the next night, Kiila was waiting for him in a dark blue gown that split in the front to just below her knees, came down in the back to her waist, and the sleeveless halter straps allowed for a fair amount of cleavage. 

He took her arm and led her out the door and into the elevator. 

* * *

"So was he crushed?" Gackt sipped at his wine. 

"I'm not sure. I didn't even get dressed for the date last night, and I told him at the door. He just said 'Fine' and left. He had the day off yesterday, too." Kiila picked at her salad. "I have the day off tomorrow, so I won't see him until Friday." 

Gackt leaned toward her. "How's Julie?" 

"I'm driving her crazy, as usual. And, like a few times before, this time it's your fault." 

He laughed. "What's the poor child up to now, besides getting mad at you?" 

"She's getting married to a Jedi Master. It was going to be the Padawan, but, well, do you remember the fuss at _Bobby Fisher's Nightclub_?" He nodded. "Well, that was the group of us. She was drunk, I think before we even got to the restaurant, and she decided that it was a good time to change her mind. This totally crushed Obi, who I had to order to eat, otherwise he would have gone home and wasted a perfectly good meal. Qui Gon had been trying to avoid drinking, but Julie was going on so badly that he ran the tab up fairly high with what he drank. Maul and I made him pay, and Obi was the only one who hadn't had enough to drink that made it bad for him to drive. Well, of the two people who were allowed to drive that vehicle, because it belonged to the Jedi Master. The Padawan is also on the insurance for the vehicle." 

"I'll bet that was fun." Gackt played with a crouton. 

"It was partly my fault. I had just gotten back from a trip to Kashyyyk, and Maul, who had decided he missed me too much, had come over and taken me to his place immediately. So when I managed to get away, and got back to Julie, I was in bad shape and suggested we all go out drinking. She took me seriously." Kiila sighed. "So how have you been?" 

"You've had it easier than I have. At least when you got to this planet you managed to get a good job right away. I came here thinking I had a job all set, but then I couldn't locate the people who had contacted me. I barely had enough money for a few months rent, so I had to get that job as a waiter to keep the apartment while I looked for an acting or singing job. I never found one. You are lucky, having that extra strength and gymnastic ability that you have. Most of the acting jobs required that ability, and there were no singing positions available. When I saw you again at the restaurant…" 

"You weren't sure I'd remember you, so you caused extra trouble in hopes that I would look at you and recognize you. I almost didn't." She reached across the table and fiddled with his hair. "I haven't seen you for a few years." 

"You have a more distinctive feature than I do, which is why I recognized you immediately." He took her hand. "Though, even if you didn't have skunk hair, I still would have known you anywhere…" His voice trailed off, and Kiila's eyes began to mist up. 

* * *

"That's your idea?" Julie stared at Qui Gon. "Do you really think it will work?" 

"Yes." He pulled her closer to him and wrapped his arms around her. 

"But, doesn't being a bounty hunter go against everything a Jedi believes in?" 

"Yes, but the Jedi Council will consider me dead. Even if they expect to see me pop up as a blue apparition in various places, if I don't, they'll prefer it." He kissed her forehead, and she melted into him (not literally). 

* * *

Darth Maul choked. It was disgusting, listening to those two. But, now he knew that he would play a valuable part in their plan, and he knew if he didn't cooperate with it, even though they didn't know he was the most important part, he figured he would get his pants beaten off by Julie. 

* * *

Obi glared at Cuddles, who shrank backward into the bedding. 

"How could you do that? Now Julie is even angrier with me than she was before! They called _me_ irresponsible, and yet it was your doing that caused all this, wasn't it?" 

Cuddles looked around, trying to seem innocent, but he knew his master was right. He wiggled his sump of a tail forlornly. 

"Humph. Well, at least Julie wasn't pregnant as well." Obi turned to the kitchen and found a vegetarian cookbook. "For your punishment, however…" 

Cuddles shuddered. A cooking experiment… 

* * *

Gackt escorted Kiila back to the apartment, even waiting for her to be safely inside before leaving. He slowly backed away from the closing door, and he heard a scream. 

"YOU TWO ARE SO INDECENT!" 

He stopped and waited for a minute or so as he heard shuffling around inside the apartment and Kiila came back into the hall, slamming the door behind her. 

"Oh, good. You're still here." She lifted a small duffel bag onto her shoulder and took his arm, gently smiling. "You have room for another?" 

As Gackt led Kiila back to the elevator, she said, "I spend so few nights in my apartment these days, it's amazing." 

* * *

Kiila returned in the morning to find the apartment cleaned up, Qui Gon gone (Gon gone, I like it), and Julie watching the weather reports with disinterest. 

"So how was your night?" Julie turned and looked at Kiila as she walked into the bedroom. 

"It was the first restful night that I've had in a long time. Probably since before we moved here." Kiila unloaded her dress from the bag and hung it in the 'to be cleaned' section of her closet. "Even while I was on vacation, even when I was hurt, I've never slept better." 

"Good Grief!" Julie stood behind Kiila now, and startled the skunk-striped girl with her shout. "Will you just marry him already? This has been going on for years, and I have wanted to say this for years, but you always insist on making sure I'm okay and settled down first!" Julie flopped onto her bed. "I feel like I've been ruining a part of your life, but you always insist it's okay. Sometimes, just sometimes, all I want is for you to be happy." She brushed a tear from her eye and hardened up. "But now, I've got Quigee, and you and Gackt can finally do something constructive!" 

"But, doesn't Qui Gon need the Council's permission before he can marry you?" 

"Not if they think he's dead." 

"So that was his brilliant idea. I can see it already." Kiila flopped on her own bed. "Oh, joy…" 

* * *

Qui Gon and Obi left for Naboo, and Maul was called away by Sidious. 

Julie and Kiila were both bored. So they did something they hadn't done for a long time. They pulled out pencils and paper, and drew anything they could think of. 

"That is not a hamster, Kii. You drew a hairball with four legs!" 

"Yeah, well your people always look square!" 

"At least they don't have dumb expressions on their faces." 

Kiila stuck her tongue out, and leaned over her drawing. She had drawn some trees and grass, but she couldn't figure out what else to put in there. She leaned back again. 

Julie snatched the drawing from Kiila and looked at it. "I know what you could draw in there…" Kiila gave Julie a look that said 'Shut up,' but Julie wasn't looking. "You could draw you and Gackt…" 

"SHUT UP!" Kiila took the paper and started drawing something else that looked something like a dead Jedi in the middle. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOOO!" 

"Stop that, you sound like Obi." 

Julie tucked her stuff away and lay down on the couch instead. "Is there anything on TV?" 

"No, it's Sunday, why would there be?" Kiila cleared her stuff up and went into the bedroom to sleep. 

Julie grumbled and channel-surfed. 

* * *

Kiila was out with Gackt that night, and Julie began packing her stuff up again. This time she'd be on the move a lot, so she was going to give Kiila some of her things so they wouldn't take up as much room. When she'd told Kiila about the likely hood of little space, Kiila had gone to her closet and pulled out a pair of boxes. 

_ "This," she said, holding out the larger box, "was going to be a wedding present for you and Obi. I held onto it because I figured you'd get settled soon. It's a field generator from Calamari that allows water to hold its place in a globe form to allow fish to swim around in it. If you're not going to have much space, I'd better give you the smaller one. It may not work in space on small ships, I don't know, you'd have to read the directions, but I figure you'll force him to find a planet to stay on eventually. Sadly, the other gift I'd gotten for you probably wouldn't survive another trip through space, especially if he's a bounty hunter. It's a blown glass figurine of some cetaceans from Calamari leaping into the air with an unidentifiable man and woman on their backs. And no, they aren't naked or doing anything dirty."_

Julie smiled at the memory and the small argument they'd had afterward. Then she tried again to fit her clothes in around the figurines and memorabilia she had for this world. She wiped a tear from her eye and thought of how much she'd miss Kiila and what she dragged in with her. 

* * *

Gackt hadn't taken her to a fancy place that night, but had told before so she wouldn't be too dressed up. Kiila and Gackt were now having the time of their lives in a karaoke bar. 

After each song and dance they did, the bar filled with applause, and they were prodded to sing more. Few other people bothered to put any requests in, so Kiila figured they had better leave before these people ended up paying for a concert instead of their own singing enjoyment. 

As they walked through the park, humming some songs to themselves and each other, Kii leaned on Gackt's shoulder, and he put his arm around her. They were so lost in their own world that they barely even heard the voices behind them, telling them to stop. 

"Well, look what we've found here. Two darling and innocent lovebirds out for a walk in the park." The apparent leader stepped toward Kiila, and tried to grab her. He ended up with a face full of her foot. 

"Innocent? Hardly. People like you have come after me before; I can deal with you." She ground her boot into his nose as she pushed his skull into the pavement. 

One of the other two guys came toward Gackt. "But can you protect him…" The thug's question was cut off as Gackt punched him in the gut, causing him to double over, where his head met with Gackt's knee. 

The other thug ran. The leader pushed Kiila off, but as he was standing up, she brought both hands down on his head in a double fist, grabbed Gackt's arm, and they ran in the direction of the parking lot. 

* * *

Kiila and Gackt were laughing as they came into the apartment. 

"Those guys are gonna be feeling that in the morning." Gackt helped Kiila get her jacket off, and then removed his own. 

"I'll bet they'll never go near another skunk-haired girl and her date, eh?" Kiila flopped onto the couch and sighed. Gackt sat down next to her, and she put her head in his lap. 

"What did you do?" Julie came out holding Havoc and dropped the armadillo on Kiila. 

Gackt picked Havoc up again. "Hey, Hav, did you miss me?" The armadillo practically leapt to cuddle at his neck. Kiila giggled at the expression on Gackt's face. Julie went into the kitchen in attempts to avoid their late night hyper-ness. 

It quieted down in the living room, and Julie put her ear right to the doorway just in time to hear Gackt proposing to Kiila. "It's about time," she said quietly to herself. "I've been waiting to hear him say that to her for years." As she heard Kiila say yes, she let out a big sigh, knowing that she could leave with a clean conscience. And now she could leave all the wedding magazines for Kiila to look at. A best friend was good, but she would have to make sure she could still make it to their wedding. Hers wasn't going to be big, but she knew Kii would make her own big. That was her style, big, and yet quaint in its own way. 

She heard Gackt leave, and she walked out of the kitchen to talk to Kiila. "Well, it took him long enough to do that, didn't it? What's it been, four years?" 

Kiila murmured an agreement and looked at her hand. In a platinum ring flashed a gem the same color as Kiila's eyes. It was a fair sized gem surrounded by smaller red and blue gems. "Y'know, I think he's had this for me since we were back home. It looks like it's an emerald set with sapphires and rubies; they have a different, richer quality and color than gems found here." 

"You should have been a jeweler." Julie took a look at the ring. "This looks like Earth platinum. It has a different texture than the ring Qui Gon gave me." They held their rings together and the gems flashed in the light. 

* * *

Kiila had to work the next couple days, so Julie was home by herself again. When she took a break from packing, she went through the magazines and picked out which dresses she thought would look good on Kiila. She also went through all the napkins and flower arrangements that Kiila had said she'd liked when looking for stuff for Julie's wedding. After carefully narrowing everything down to about five choices, she would have Kiila pick her favorite from the choices, while making sure that it would all go together in the overall scheme. 

Kiila was grateful that Julie was willing to do this for her, because the wedding never would have been planned otherwise. And every third night they got Gackt over to make sure that everything was okay with him, too. Julie was even beginning to like him, he was sensible and had good taste, and so she was able to put aside the grudge she had with him about the constant breaking up and meeting again with Kiila. 

All was prepared for the wedding, and they even had a date set and reservations made with all buildings, caterers, and other people who were needed for the process. Julie had everything arranged so that, even if Qui Gon wasn't there, she would be there for at least a week before the wedding to confirm everything, and at the ceremony to be the maid of honor. Invitations were sent out, including the entire cast and crew of the show, one to the Mon Calamari guide and his family, some members of the Jedi Council, Obi, Qui Gon (so it wouldn't seem like a planned death to the postal service, who knew them well), Maul, Sidious, Mark and Duane, Fred the Wonder Dog, and a few other friends, like Bobby Fisher. 

Kiila and Julie were also finishing Julie's packing, as well as trying to make it look like Julie wasn't leaving. This was to stop visitors from thinking it looked like it was planned for Qui Gon to die and Julie run off in sadness (although, Gackt knew the truth). 

* * *

When news of Qui Gon's death was brought to the Council, the first thing done was to notify Julie, out of courtesy of the engagement, who, a day later, disappeared leaving only a note for Kiila. This note was turned over to the Jedi Council, who, while trying to locate another Sith (who Kiila knew about, but didn't talk of) also tried to locate Julie. Kiila moped about for a few weeks, faking it, and was relieved at that time when and anonymous letter came for her reading, "I can't make you any guarantees, I'm not wearing pants," came to her door. She remembered the old days and the phrase they'd heard oh-so-long ago in a school cafeteria, and all since jokes. Her friend was okay, and probably happily married by now. 

* * *

The End   
Upcoming Epilogue 

* * *

Kiila: Oh, wow. I thought that was going to go on forever. I finally finished the stupid thing, no thanks to Julie. Any way, Gackt and Ryan are real people. Ryan is an actor from Canada (not Ryan Stiles), and Gackt is a Japanese visual rock artist. We didn't have any good drinks in this chapter, did we? Oh well. One of these days I'll try to draw the rings (maybe) or something (need illustrations). 

Julie: 


	5. Epilogue

Author's Notes/Disclaimer: Kiila and Julie are our characters. Gackt is a REAL PERSON (well, technically so are Kiila and Julie, but they are us, therefore and so on and so on). Any mention of actual Star Wars stuff is because George Lucas is cool, but y'know what, he thought of that, so don't be suing us for it. I put trademark signs next to anything else that's brand name, so they can't sue us either. Um, anything else probably is also stuff we've made up. Have fun! And don't yell at me about Episode 2 screwing it up!! Its not my fault!!! (They told me they fixed it! - Lando Calrissian)  
  
Epilogue: Conclusion: What Happens Between Episodes 1 and 2 By Kiila the Spellsinger and Julie  
  
"So, anyway, what happened to Julie and Qui Gon?" Gackt sipped some tea as he looked across the table at his new wife, Kiila.  
  
"Well, the last time I spoke to her, she and Qui Gon had gotten married, but he'd changed his name. He's also bought a suit of Mandalorian armor. She says he's going to be a bounty hunter instead of picking up dumb little kids like that Anakin twerp." She stirred her oatmeal.  
  
"Yeah, I feel kind of bad for Obi now that he's stuck with the kid." Gackt knew that Obi was a little bit depressed, and with Anakin hanging around asking questions all the time, he was having a few problems coping with his loss. "It was good that Julie made it for our wedding, though. Too bad she can't be here in a few months for you."  
  
Kiila rubbed her stomach. "I don't know. When I told her, she said she would try to convince Qui. I mean Boba Fett, to get her back here for it. I know how much she really does want to be here. And, of course, you'll be right there with me, won't you?"  
  
"Always and forever," he walked around the table and kissed her cheek. "Zutto (Always)."  
  
"Master Obi Wan, what are you doing?" Anakin watched as Obi played one of Darth Maul's old video games (no, not Jedi Roadkill).  
  
"It's called displacement. I'm focusing my anger and sadness on something harmless. Go away." Obi blasted the nearest zombie into oblivion.  
  
Anakin walked over to Fluffi Wan Jr. and Cuddles' tank. Fluffi Wan was running like mad in his wheel, and Cuddles was working on an entire tunnel system in the cedar chips.  
  
"And don't mess with my hamsters!"  
  
Anakin pouted to the hamsters, who ignored him completely, and walked to look out the balcony. There was a table, and on it was a picture, placed face down. He lifted it up and saw a woman with dark red hair and blue eyes standing next to another woman with brown and red striped hair. Also in the picture was Obi Wan and the dark black and red tattooed man who had been killed. He was about to call to his master and ask about the people, when he suddenly thought better of it. He put the picture back and looked out onto the streets of Coruscant.  
  
Julie looked around the special hidden compartment that was built into Qui Gon/Boba Fett's ship, the Slave 1. She had finished decorating the section with everything she'd been able to find in her luggage, including the water sphere and sculpture from Kiila, and she was almost satisfied. She would have Quigee pick up a few more wall hangings next time they were in port.  
  
She also had to get into a clinic. Not only was Kiila pregnant, but Julie had a feeling she was too. This time she'd be checked by a doctor. And she knew it wasn't Obi's fault. She'd have known well before now, after all, it had been five or six months since she'd even seen him, so there would be no problems.  
  
She put her finger into the water globe, and the graceful Kirenfish swam over and nudged it. She smiled at it and it did a circle in the water and swam away.  
  
Qui Gon walked in, not wearing the armor, but a simple grey uniform- like suit. He wrapped his arms around her waist, saying, "Do you like it?"  
  
"Oh, its lovely. I still sort of prefer open air planets, but I'll get used to this, so long as we stop every once in a while. You know, to get fresh air and run around and swim and stuff."  
  
"Of course. Whatever your heart desires." He stroked her hair gently.  
  
She turned around and tugged at the neckline of his suit. "Do you know what my heart is desiring right now?" She stopped him from saying anything, and continued. "However, it may or may not be a good idea. Remember when I told you about Kiila?"  
  
He looked at her for a minute, then said, "You don't think.?"  
  
"You bet I do. So maybe just a hot bath. With a recording of Kii and Gackt's newest songs, maybe?" She slid her arms around his neck and started walking backwards towards the bathroom.  
  
He smiled down at her and spun her so she could watch where she was going on the way to the bath.  
  
  
  
The End Fin Das Ende Okay, Go Away Now! 


End file.
